Thursday 9 November 2006

Proud of myself

After one week of clearing and packing, I finally cleared away my 3 boxes and 2 big suitcases of stuff. Very embarrassed to say that most of these things are mine! I didn’t buy/bring anything back for my friends or family. I did buy a traditional Mexican shirt for my mum but other than that, nothing! One thing, to buy for one, I have to buy for everyone, which will cause me to spend a lot of money. Second thing, my luggages were already overweight and I narrowly missed having to pay for excess baggage, so buying more things were out of the question. I’m sure those who’re really my friends will just be happy to see me back safe and sound than to see my presents.

Oh, back to my room. I’m just so proud of myself. Managed to harden my heart and throw away lots of stuff that I kept for very long time. I really mean a very long time. Some of them goes back to my eldest brother’s primary school days, which is like 20 over years ago! Haha! I don’t even know how they ended up in my room in the first place. I actually had great fun cleaning up my room, to tell the truth. Was looking through all those school books, letters and diary entries. Makes me reminisce about days past and brought back lots of memories. Realised how much I’ve changed or in some ways, how little.

Being a sentimental person, I’ve kept every piece of letter and card that’s given to me by friends. This goes back to my primary school days. Really very funny to be reading about those things that seems important to me then but so silly now. I wrote diary on and off during these years and it makes me silly to be reading them too. Seems like when I was young, I can be very easily satisfied and easily sad too. Maybe this character of mine has not changed, just that I know better to conceal my feelings now.

Well, now that my unpacking is finished, that gives me no excuses to ‘lobo’ at home. Have to start looking for a job soon. My mum has been nagging me non-stop. Have actually wanted to rest till January but I think can’t wait till so long. I have to buy a new computer, set up an internet account and there’s many things that needed to be replaced in the house. Everything needs money. Sigh…I don’t even know what job I’m going to look for…

Monday 30 October 2006

Finally back in Singapore!!

Finally, after an absence of 2 years, I’m back home in S’pore. I don’t know. Maybe I’ve changed after all. Seems like everything looks and feel different to me. Even seeing my own room feels so strange to me. Of course I’m happy to be home, to see my friends and eat the food that I grew up with. Just that many things have changed in my absence and I have to get used to the changes.

When I was travelling, I was hating the feeling of living out of a suitcase/backpack. Now that I’m home, I think I’m so used to living on the go that I’m feeling funny to be having permanent place for my things. I miss the friends I’ve made on my journeys too. Talking about my things, I have sooooo many things to pack and unpack!! I’ve accumulated so many things from my 2 years abroad and I have to sent back 3 boxes of things in addition to the 2 big suitcases that I have to lug back. Now, I have to unpack and clear things from my small room so I can fit the new things in. It’s a tedious and tiring process. Wish I have more room for everything.

When I came home, I was wondering what I came back for. My home is not exactly the place to come home to, with all the problems present. The first half hour of coming home, I wish to run away again. It is the love and friendship from friends and brothers and sisters in church that kept me here in S’pore. I don’t really know what I want or what to do now.Well, can only take things one step at a time. Hopefully I can get adjusted and settle down soon. Though I wish to leave, I want to stay on here too. Oh, the irony!!

Sunday 8 October 2006

Unforgettable

It was the craziest thing I ever did. It was when I deserted logic and followed my instincts and heart. It was one of the best things that ever happened. It was fun. It was exciting. It was interesting. It was a wonderful and unique experience. Although it goes against all that I’ve believed in and stand for, I still went for it. Made my choice, stand by it. No regrets.

Sensitive, independent, strong, intelligent, talented, funny and special are just some qualities I discovered. I will learn not to be dependent on it, as I know I won’t be depended upon. Never had something like this happened before, don’t think will happen again. Have fun and be happy. Don’t ask for more. That’s the rules of the game. I don’t know how to play the game and broke the rules. A good thing that the one that gets hurt is only me.

Yes, I will be missed. Yes, I will be remembered….until the next one comes along, perhaps permanently. I’m one of many stories, while it’s the one and only story to me. No, I won’t fight for it. It will only be futile efforts on my part. Different countries, different cultures, different interests, different goals, different languages. I wish for once, someone would do the fighting, or at least, do it with me. I’m too tired to always do it alone.

Yes, I will move on….eventually. But now, just for now, allow me to drown, in the sweet memories, that may never come again.




Sylvia
October 9, 2006 at 6:13 am

*hugs..
totally understand.. now you understand my pains too..

Wednesday 4 October 2006

Blogging from Mexico

So, I’m currently in Mexico now. Feeling great! Things are so much cheaper than in England. I think I’m getting fat from eating the local food everyday. Actually not think, I AM getting fat from eating so much. Initially had a big culture shock when I came. Bere’s house is just so different from what I’m used to. Call me spoilt. Anyway, she tried her best and everyone is very nice to me, in fact generous and kind, so I cannot be ungrateful and complain so much.

Right now I’m travelling central Mexico(or South?) with Bere. Went to San Luis Potosi and in Guanajuato now. Tomorrow going to San Miguel. After that, a few more cities that I’ve not learnt to pronounce their names yet. Will update more if I get free internet access again at the hostels I’m staying at. I have major headache trying to listen to Spanish and understand them. Bere is just babbling off all those Spanish names of places and things and people and they just go over my head as I can’t understand and don’t bother to remember them. Haha! Spanish is just not the language that I’m interested to learn. However, for the sake of communication, I’m forced to learn few words here and there. Talking with Bere’s mum is with sign languages and her speaking Spanish while I try to use my ’smart’ brain to decipher what she’s trying to say. Good thing I’m actually pretty smart! That’s what Bere’s mum said anyway.

The Mexicans I meet don’t get to meet people who speak English often. I’m always the butt of their jokes for my broken Spanish. They’re always curious to find out how I like their cities/country/culture/food. I always have to answer the question of where exactly Singapore is. So far, the most hilarious one I got was that capital of Singapore is Bangkok! Haha!

Anyway, I’m too lazy to write all the experiences. Maybe in the next blog. I’m loving it here in Guanajuato. Meeting new people is always fun but I’m tired of being asked the same questions again and again. I know, I know, I have to talk more. Being too quiet is the reason I lose friends and why friends don’t like to hang out with me. What to do, that’s me. I wish everyone reads my blog so I can just blog down my feelings and experiences without having to actually vocalise them. Haha! Till next time…..




Sylvia
October 5, 2006 at 4:29 pm

you hv a sweet voice.. speak up!!!blog’s artificial sometimes, and i’m sure you’ll agree..can’t wait for you to be back hun!!and i’d love to learn spanish!

Wednesday 20 September 2006

Last day

When I first met them, one was jumping with joy at seeing a new person to play with, one was drooling and shy to see a stranger. When she holds out her wet fingers to me, I cringe with disgust and hope against hope I’ll get used to it fast. She can’t even talk and we have a slight communication problem. No problem with the older one. She’s sociable and made me get to work immediately, irritating me with her non-stop chatter and questions.

When I changed the first poopy diaper for her, I nearly vomited there and then because of the stinky smell. I’ve never actually changed a single soiled diaper in my life although I’ve seen it countless times to know the theory. That was a big mess. It happened to be a big poop and I had to drop the diaper on the floor, face down! Had to go get something to wipe the poop off the floor. In the rush to make sure she doesn’t fall off the changing table, I stepped on the poop on the floor. Had my socks on, so had to take it off and wash it. After much struggles, I finally got her changed. We learnt together and I was proud of myself. I actually looked forward to changing her next diaper. Can even do it single-handedly now.

When I tried to feed them, it gave me headaches. Never tried to cook a decent meal for myself before, much less for 2 young children. We had our trial and errors. The older one likes tomatoes, the younger one hates it. The younger one likes macaroni and cheese, the older one dislikes it. The older one likes plum, the younger one is not so hot for it. The younger one likes cantaloupe, the older one wouldn’t touch it. The older one is adventurous in trying new food, the younger one is more conservative. We eventually discovered all of us like the fried rice I made, carrots, broccoli and fruits too. We learnt and discover together.

When I’m away from those who I love and those who love me, they gave me their love, trust, hugs and slobbery kisses. I, in turn gave them my heart, treating them like my own and don’t even bother to correct others when they call me their mummy.

When we’re comfortable with each other now and they’ve begun to take me for granted, it’s time to leave. One is learning her letters and numbers and learning to read while the other is talking so much now that she keeps asking ‘why’ questions that I have no answers to. Perhaps it’s time. Perhaps I’m not ready. Perhaps there’ll be another time to meet again. I don’t know. Remembering my 3-4 years old period, I can’t remember anything. They won’t too. Maybe I won’t be remembered. Maybe I would. I’m just glad to be able to, in a small way, be able to shape their growing up years.

When I think of my girls, Kara and Brigid, I’ll always think of 2 beautiful, innocent faces. The love we shared and the fun we had. I’ll never forget them, even if they do. I just hope that I’ll eventually have girls(or boys) that I can truly call my own, so I would not have to dream of these 2 whom I had, for 2 short years.




Sylvia
September 25, 2006 at 4:35 pm

aww..
*hugs

Monday 18 September 2006

Reminders to myself

Below are just things that happened on my Ireland trip. They don’t make sense to anyone but me as I don’t want to forget what I did for Ireland trip. Don’t have to read as it’s really boring.

Day 1

  • Met Mike on bus. Gave my name as Ling Ling, forgot I gave it as Winnie when I registered for the trip. He started calling me Ling.
  • Slane hill. Had introductions. Mike called me Ling again. Introduced myself as Winnie.
  • Had lunch with Renae at a really cheap and nice place. Realised that the others went to a pub for lunch together.
  • Shared hostel room with Kirsty, Kym and Mel.
  • Had Black taxi tour.
  • Went out as a big group in search of dinner with Kym, Mel, Kirsty, Francine, Charlie, Shawn, Jess, Kate.
  • Went to Crown Liquor Saloon for a pint before looking for dinner again
  • Most places too small for us or have to wait too long for tables
  • Walked for 3 hours before finally settling on Robinson’s Bar
  • Had soup for dinner
  • Went downstairs. Stayed a little till the traditional Irish music band played.
  • Disappointed no one dancing Irish dance. Went back to sleep


Day 2

  • Gossip of the morning. Jasmine ran off with an Irish guy she met at the bar the previous night. Won’t be joining the tour anymore
  • Carrick-a-rede rope bridge. Drizzle a little
  • Had group photo taken
  • Had lunch at pub near the bridge.
  • Sat with Kym, Mel and Charlie
  • Had soup and onion rings. Charlie had Ploughman’s lunch
  • Went Giants Causeway. Walked by myself all the way
  • Shared a room with Brooke and Kate and another American girl not in our tour, Kelly.
  • Had walking tour around Derry
  • Brooke, Kate, Mel and Kym decided to make dinner. I joined in. Made stir fry noodles. Paid only 1.23 pounds. Very cheap!
  • Went to Wetherspoon Bar - The Ice Wharf. Had first taste of Smirnoff Ice. Liked it. Nearly got drunk when drink too fast
  • Sat with Charlie and talked a little
  • Shawn winked and touched my chin when saying bye but it felt normal. Was amused by it
  • Walked home with Luke.
  • Couldn’t sleep well the whole night as Brooke was snoring very loudly


Day 3

  • Realised everyone had a cheese burger after drinking the night before. Sad to miss out on something.
  • Went to Yeats’ resting place
  • Had lunch at place where they had surf gliding. Soup again
  • Reached Galway and realised everyone was already paired up for hostel room. I was left out. Felt very sad
  • Had to bunk with Brooke, Katrina, Becs, Francine and Rose
  • Jasmine rejoined us for the tour. Dying to know what happened
  • Went out to pub to watch Hurling finals - Kilkenny against Cork. Kilkenny won
  • Left the above group as got bored. Went back to hostel just in time to catch Kym’s group leaving. Was happy!
  • Went to another pub to watch hurling
  • Walked around Galway. Went to Fish & chips shop Mike recommended but didn’t find it good.
  • Decided to cook own dinner but had to walk very far to find a grocery shop that’s open as shops close early on Sunday
  • Had tortilla chips with salsa dips, Bread with pesto sauce and a few other dips. Was full
  • Intend to sleep after dinner but group going out to see Irish dancing and hear Irish music. Didn’t want to miss it
  • Went to pub with Luke, Charlie, Kym, Mel, Kate, Shawn
  • Band was playing Australian music and songs which made the people very happy. Rest of people eventually joined in
  • Went to check out other pub with Luke, Kym and Kirsty
  • Went to another pub with Kym. Got asked for IDs
  • Went back to join others. Wanted to go home but Kym had to stay to protect Renae from getting picked up by a NY Westchester guy
  • Walked home with Jess and someone I can’t remember
  • Woke Katrina up when got back to hostel. She was pissed off she slept through a night of pubbing.
  • Brooke snored again but it wasn’t too loud this time


Day 4

  • Castle owned by the Lynches
  • Portal tomb. Group picture taken by Karen
  • Lunch at a pub. Soup. Sat with Charlie, Kym, Mel and Kate.
  • Met other groups of tourists. Had eye contact with a cute guy from USA. Smiled a few times but didn’t say anything.
  • Went to Cliffs of Moher and met the same guy again. Started walking together and talking
  • Started raining very heavily while walking the cliffs. Guy helped me a few times. Touched hands! haha
  • Walked back under the same umbrella together. Talked more
  • He just said bye and walked away! Didn’t ask for contact details.
  • Night at Randy Leprechaun. Karaoke night
  • Charlie came on his own accord to sit with me. Talked a little with the other about family
  • Realised Charlie has 4 sisters!
  • Everyone sang some songs
  • Liked the song ‘Down under’ by Men at Work. Charlie sang it with Becs, I think. I’m among Australians. Have to like it! haha
  • Crazy people downed ‘Car bombs’, which is 3/4 pint of Guinness with a shooter of Whiskey and Baileys dropped into the pint and drank in 10 secs.
  • Went to bed. Shared room with Renae, Kym, Mel, Kate and Kirsty


Day 5

  • Realised the other drunks and smokers partied till about 5am the previous night. Felt I missed something again
  • Went to lake to have group pictures taken
  • Went Slea Head and Giants Causeway
  • Katrina, the kiss and teller, revealed her interesting pick ups on the trip. Dunno who will read this blog, so can’t say
  • Lunch at a small town. Mushroom soup and had ice-cream cone for dessert.
  • Reached Killarney. Shared room with Kym, Mel, Kate, Renae and Rose.
  • Charlie and Francine shared a 2-bedroom all to themselves
  • Had horse cart ride
  • Shared dinner with 8 others. Went to Tesco to buy. Mostly cheese and crackers, dips and bread and chips. 5 Euros per person
  • Last night, everyone decided to dress up for it
  • Kym loaned me her shirt as I don’t have dress up clothes. One that to me feels low-cut
  • Went to The Granary for cocktails. 4 Euros each. Shots at 3 Euros each. I had Grasshopper cocktail. Good drink
  • Everyone said I looked good.
  • Mike says I look good. Realises I’m 27. Jokingly and immediately went down on his knees to propose. Was so funny and made me very, very happy
  • Went to another pub for drinks. Mike kept close to me. Even bought me a shot drink called ‘Cowboy boots’. 3/4 sambuca and 1/4 baileys. I downed it and didn’t feel a thing.
  • Tried to take pictures with Mike and he kissed me. Then he quietly slipped away
  • Someone who tried to pick Kym up at 1am plus bought a drink for me. Red bull with vodka. Not too bad. Shared it with Kate
  • Partied till 2.30am
  • Renae stayed out the whole night with a guy from another tour she met at the bar
  • Slept at around 3am


Day 6

  • Had to wait in line for shower in the morning. Thought there was a guy in the toilet. Later realised no one in there! Felt stupid
  • Had to rush to shower and pack and have breakfast
  • Mike was late in the morning and in a foul, grumpy mood. Didn’t talked at all unless it’s necessary
  • Went to Blarney castle. Didn’t kiss Blarney stone as felt it was too dirty
  • Mike seems to be in better mood after we came back from Blarney castle. No mention of previous night’s events
  • Cahir castle in Tipperary
  • Asked Mike how come he still has hangover when he went back early last night. He said he wanted to say I’m young and naive but then remembered I’m close to age as him. He’s 29, btw
  • Reached Dublin. Had to say goodbye to everyone
  • No one crying, so I have to force myself not to cry.
  • Mike finally said jokingly that we not getting married?
  • I asked for his email. Said in 3 years if I really not married, I’ll look for him. That’s what he said last night anyway
  • He said I don’t need him. He’ll be a bad influence on me. Very reluctantly gave me his work email
  • Walked around a little before going to airport to wait the night out
  • Met up with Patrice and Winston at airport



Kid
September 18, 2006 at 8:09 pm

hey, i read this entry and i’m surprised that i rather enjoyed it. not in the least boring!!! cant wait for you to come back..no worries, if there are actions, u wont be missed. but be positive, on the other hand, at times when pple exclude you from their activities, they dont know what they are missing out on too! so dont be too upset.

Sunday 17 September 2006

Scotland trip

I’m back from Scotland! Sad to say, I didn’t enjoy Scotland as much as I enjoyed Ireland. After the crazy and fun-filled week in Ireland, I sort of expected Scotland to be the same thing recreated all over again. Kept on missing the people and events in Ireland the whole time. I guess one shouldn’t compare or have expectations. You might be sorely disappointed. I was.

Scotland has it’s own struggles, battles and histories. In fact, I learnt more history in Scotland than in Ireland. However, it doesn’t necessary means a good thing. Most of it is about how Scotland came to be part of the UK and it’s fight for independence. So you can see, it’s not all romantic stories. Just feel quite sad and depressing to learn about all those tragic histories.

This time, the tour only had 9 of us, 10 including the guide, in it. A small group, so we were able to know each other quite well. However, you don’t always get people that you can click or get along with, everytime. There’s 2 China boys, one Australian(who’s totally different from those Aussies I met in Ireland),one American lady in her forties, one Scot, one Czech Republic guy, an Israel girl(who’s very smart and well-travelled), a pretty Switzerland girl and me, the S’porean girl. We’re all from different countries and have different cultures and languages. I think to be able to survive amicably for a week is good enough.

There were some things that happened that made me hide in the toilet and cry my heart out. Maybe I’m too sensitive and interpret words wrongly. Maybe I’m just so set in my thinkings that I think my way is the right way. Maybe I’m just too selfish to see my own faults. Whatever it is, I tried my best. Can’t always please everyone. Can’t always care too much.

Have you ever seen a beautiful sunset and a rainbow at the same time? Have you ever had 5 men strip naked all at once in front of your eyes(albeit a little distance away)? Have you ever seen the Milky Way in the sky? Have you ever seen stars so bright and clear that the constellations could be seen all at once? Have you ever felt the wind so strong on a mountain top that it feels as though you’re really about to be blown away? Have you ever stood while cows/sheep eat grass not heeding your presence besides them? Have you ever seen so much cows/sheep shit in one big field? I had done/seen/experienced all these and more! It really was some of the greatest phenomenal experiences I ever had. The company wasn’t great but I don’t regret doing this tour.

Now, if I can only recover in time to say goodbye to my host family. Can I ever say goodbye without tearing up and breaking my heart?




Sylvia
September 17, 2006 at 9:17 pm

:)

Laixing
September 18, 2006 at 7:20 am

wow really pei fu u going so far for ur pursuits.. dun be sad ya… u still got frens who are all around ok?

Friday 8 September 2006

Ireland trip

This is going to be a short blog. Don’t intend to blog about my whole trip in Ireland as it’s 6 days long. But I can tell you that I totally enjoy this trip and I love the people on the tour, Ireland, Irish guys and the beers! I’m been on so many tours before by myself and this is the one that I enjoyed the most and feel very happy about throughout the whole trip. I think I mentioned before that I wasn’t very excited to be going on the trips to Ireland and Scotland because of all these emotions I’m going through these recent months. Now, I’m totally psyched up for Scotland because I had such fun in Ireland.





The tour had a total of 22 people, including me. All of them are Australians except for me from S’pore, 2 Americans, 2 from New Zealand, 2 from Canada and one from South Africa. The Australians are such fun people! During the tour, because we’re in Ireland and the Irish are known for their drinking, we go out every night to pubs and drink. I don’t drink every night though. The Aussies are really mental people. They can be so fun and crass and loud and crazy! I really love hanging out with them, not that I had a choice. I had fun listening to the Aussie slangs and accents. They were quick to teach me too.

Our tour guide, Mike, is very fun, not to mention cute too. He cracks corny and dirty jokes throughout the boring and long bus journeys, sings Irish songs and tells us stories and folklore of the Irish. He’s made it interesting for everyone on the bus and sometimes do drink and party with us too. The Irish guys in the pubs always show interests in some of our girls in the group, even though sometimes their Irish accent makes them hard to understand.


The most fun I had was on the last night, when everyone dressed up to go out and have a good time as a form of celebration for the end of the tour.

My roommates made me dress up by lending me their clothes. They even conspire to get me drunk and wasted as they know I’m not a good drinker. I’m glad to say they didn’t succeed, though I did drink more than my usual allowance. Everyone was really crazy that night and I even had a little flirting session with Mike! Haha!

I left Ireland with sad and happy feelings as I learnt so much from the tour. Before going, I didn’t know much of the country. Now, I know that they have so much culture, language(Gaelic), struggles and beliefs.
It rea
lly opens up my mind to this beautiful country. I think I won’t be going back to this place again and the people would not be the same anymore. However, I’m glad to have to chance to explore it with such fun people and to see the beauty of the place.

Sylvia

September 17, 2006 at 9:14 pm


glad you had a great time!

Wednesday 30 August 2006

I'm so blessed!

Didn’t I just mention in my previous post that good things are coming my way? Well, since I’m going to be travelling and leaving my host family soon and my host mum will be travelling a lot and we won’t see each other much, they decided to give me my farewell present now while both of us are here.

After I posted my blog, my host mum came home from work and they presented me with my brand new Olympus X-715 digital camera!! My very own digital camera! They wanted to give me in time for my travels and also to thank me for the 2 years of looking after the girls. They made Kara and Brigid give me big hugs. I was so touched and happy to see the camera that I cried on the spot. I gave all of them, including my host parents, hugs to thank them for their generosity.

The present even included a 512MB memory card and a camera case. Wow! I can take pictures without worry now! I’m just on top of the world right now. God really knows my needs and presented me with the solution just at the very last minute. I’ve been praying about what to do with a camera since I broke the one my host parents loaned me. Now, He gave me the solution when I least expected it! Really very blessed, me. Sure, the camera is not the best one there is, but it’s free and it’s mine! My very own! I still can’t believe it. I’ve been surfing around, intending to buy one when I get back to S’pore, now I don’t have to worry about it!

Well, have to go play with my new toy, make sure I know the functions before I go on my trip tomorrow. Need to sleep soon too, although I’m pretty excited to. Blog again when I come back from Ireland in a week!




Kid
August 30, 2006 at 6:40 pm

yabba dabba doo…so happy you’ve got a free camera. they are just so thoughtful…i can imagine your ‘over-the-moon’ look..practice practice and shoot some Ireland, Mexico, England, everywhere for me to see….the grass, the sky, the architecture, the people and of course YOU.

Happy news!

Good things are coming my way! Haha! I’m so happy now. Don’t know if I mentioned it before(you can see I’m pretty forgetful and lazy to check my previous blog entries). Just before I came to London, the digital camera my host parents loaned me for the past 2 years decided to break down. I was so upset by it as I know I still have so many travelling to do and so many pictures to take. (By the way, the break down of the camera has nothing to do with me, that’s why it’s so upsetting. I can’t blame anyone!)

So, I had to think of ways to get a camera to take pictures when I’m travelling. For my Alaska trip, my dear friends Yueping and Yongsiang were very nice to come to my rescue and let me have the use of their camera(which reminds me that I still have not sent the pictures out to my friends to see!). Buying a new one is out of the question as I do not have enough money to spend on this. It’s not budgeted for.

Now, since I sort of broke their camera, I dare not have the cheek to ask my host parents for the use of their other digital camera for my Ireland and Scotland trips. I’ve already decided to just buy those disposable one-time use cameras and develop them when I get back to S’pore. I mentioned it to my host dad and guess what?! He very graciously offered me the use of the other good camera! Woo hoo! Now, I can take good quality pictures and also take a lot of them! I can also upload them to the website and send to everyone of you! Haha! Isn’t this a good news? I just have to be very careful now with the other camera. Don’t want to spoil this too. So, friends, keep a look out for my vacation pictures! Let me go edit my Alaska pictures now and I can send them out to everyone.



Sylvia
September 17, 2006 at 9:16 pm

where are the rest of your pics?!
i never got a single one!

Monday 28 August 2006

Why do things not always go to plan?

Now that I have the internet and can surf at home anytime I want, I’m back in the world of instant messaging too. Then, I got to keep in touch with friends whom I’ve always been keeping in touch with but not at a regular basis. Don’t know if I’ve mentioned on my blog before. I’ve already planned a trip to Ireland for a week and then to Scotland for another week before going to Mexico for a month and then back home to S’pore.

The reason why I chose to go Ireland and Scotland is because they’re nearer to London and thus cheaper to travel to. Also, they’re places that I’ve always been wanting to go but didn’t have the chance to. Of course, although I’ve been to most of Europe before, there’s still many places that I’ve not been to, like Switzerland, Sweden, Greece, Hungary, Belgium, etc. However, those places are kinda far, more expensive and more dangerous for me, a lone girl to travel to by herself. The language barrier frightens me.


Now, my friends kinda start contacting me and inviting me to visit them in various parts of Europe. I’ve been trying to contact them before I did my booking for these trips back in USA but they didn’t reply in time for me. I booked everything before I came to London. Now, I have invites to go to Stuttgart, Germany, Frankfurt, Germany and Stockholm, Sweden. What the…!!! I want to go to these places!! But the problem is that I’ve already planned everything to such and extent that I don’t have any free time in between my trips. If I knew, I would have postponed my trip to Mexico and squeeze all these other places in between. It’s really a rare chance to be in London and thus flying to these European places would be much cheaper. Now I have to give up on this rare chance.


Why do things not always go according to plans??!!

Saturday 26 August 2006

Life in London so far

Finally we got cable internet at the house here in London and I’m able to surf the internet for free! Have been trying to go to the library to get online and was shock to have to pay one pound for every half hour of usage. So, I only did it once a week just to clear my mailbox and to do some planning for my trips. Have been missing blogging. I actually like this method of putting down my thoughts and feelings, not that I have a lot of them recently.

This past one month of staying in London has been the most boring part of my life so far in the past 2 years. I’m literally staying at home all day, everyday. The pound is so strong and makes everything so expensive that I don’t dare to spend my money on anything, much less go out and enjoy. The good thing is that I’ve been to London before, twice, so I don’t need to do the touristy stuff. So far, only went once into central London to visit Buckingham Palace. The Queen goes on vacation every summer and they open up the State Rooms in Buckingham Palace to the public. So, it’s a good timing for me to go. After that, I went to catch a musical at West End. Les Miserables! After watching it, I don’t really find it to be a really great show. The story doesn’t really fit and seems strange. However, the cast did a great job with the singing and acting.

I have plans to go Ireland and Scotland for a week each for vacation. I don’t know why I’m not at all excited and not really looking forward to going. This is the first time I’m feeling this way for a vacation. I guess partly, I’m pretty paranoid about my money running out here. I only have whatever money I have left from USA. Today is officially the last day I’m working for my host family and they’re not paying me anymore. Well, I can’t imagine myself spending all the money I had in just 2 months here, but I do want to bring some money home to S’pore. Who knows how long I’ll take to find a job. I need something to feed myself in the meantime. Also, having been in the States for almost 2 years and if I go home with nothing to show for, it seems like I’ve wasted 2 years. Thirdly, I have not given my parents any money for these 2 years. Have to set aside some amount to give them when I’m back. Even if I don’t give them, they will ask for it, so I better be prepared.

Right now, I just hope to leave here as soon as possible. Not that I want to leave Kara and Brigid or my host family. I will miss them a lot. But the whole feeling is just different. I’m in a different house, no friends, no freedom, not much money. If I’m still back in Fairfield, I will definitely not want to go home and will feel very, very sad at the prospect of going home. Moving to London is just a whole lot of changes for me and I think I’m at the end of my patience and tolerance for changes. I also have the feeling that I’m out-staying my welcome with my host family. Whenever they talk about their plans for the future and I know that it doesn’t include me, I just feel like an outsider. It’s just so sad.

I just hope that I can keep in touch with them. They have so many things to keep up with that they’re a little at a lost too. Kara just started kindergarten at the international school here. Dutch is coming soon to join the family but she’s not feeling very good back in USA at Anne’s parents’ house. I tend to be the least of their problems and I get neglected. I guess I’m selfish to want to have their attention just because I’m leaving them. I want them to feel sad and reluctant too, like how I’m feeling. Their ease of letting me go just makes me feel sad and dispensable.

I’m tired of always being such a pessimist. Have to go find some friends who’re happy and optimistic to cheer me up. I miss my friends back in USA!!!

Wednesday 26 July 2006

Last few hours

I’m going to fly to London in a few more hours. Can’t help myself. Have to blog. Don’t really know what I’m feeling. I guess it’s not so bad since I’m leaving from my friends’ place. Not from the Fairfield house. So I don’t have the ‘yi yi bu she’ feeling. I called the few friends I have here in the States yesterday. Other than Bere, whom I’m going to see in 2 months, I don’t know if I will ever see the rest of the good friends that I’ve known so well. Going to miss them. I’ve learnt from past experiences that promises of keeping in touch, especially through emails, is not guaranteed. Nothing is guaranteed, I guess.

I realised, as I lie in bed last night, that I’ve not left this country(USA) at all ever since I came here on 27 Sept 2004. True, I went to Canada, but that is like the backyard of USA, so it doesn’t really count. It’s really a little scary to be leaving now. I know I won’t be coming back here for a long time, if at all.

As I prepare myself for leaving and packing my luggage, I’m still having the surreal feeling that it’s not happening. Probably will feel more when I reach the airport or when I get on the plane. But then again, I’ve flown so many times these 2 years that it may also numb me.

It’s going to be a long night. The flight is scheduled for 9.25pm. The flight to London takes about 6.5 hrs. Which means when I reach London, it’ll be 4am but London time will be about 9am! Don’t think I will go to bed when I reach the house. Will be happy to see the girls and my host parents. The unpacking will keep me busy too. I’m guessing the sadness, excitement and anxiety of leaving here and going to London will keep me awake during the flight. So, it’s going to be a very tiring night/day for me.

Well, this time tomorrow I’ll be in another continent, another time zone, another house, another country. Really hope London will be a good place for me! I’m looking forward to more adventures(good ones) and I hope my money would not run out!

Take care everyone! See you soon! I’m off to London!

Sunday 23 July 2006

Last days in USA

Today is Sunday. I’m leaving on Wednesday. Wanted to blog this on the last day in USA but I’m not sure I will have the time or chance to use the internet, so might as well do it now when I have the time.

Everyone has been asking if I’m happy or excited to be going to London. Frankly speaking, I’d rather not go to London at all, if I can choose. I don’t like so much changes in the last few months or last month with my host family. I’ve not seen them and the girls for 2 weeks now. Kinda miss them. But at the same time, not as much as when I left for vacation the first time. Maybe it’s not that hard to leave them after all. Also, I’ve been to London twice so far. Not much excitement there as I’ve seen all that I need to see. Of course can go visit other places, but there’s not really a need to.

I envisioned spending my last days in USA soaking in all the sights of Fairfield, revisiting the places with lots of memories, having hugs with the neighbours and friends and lastly, having a tearful farewell with my host family. Not the hurried goodbyes said to the neighbours and not even being able to give proper hugs and kisses and goodbyes to the girls. I didn’t have the chance to look over the house properly and say my goodbye too. I don’t know which is harder - leaving a house fully furnished with all the memories or leaving an empty house devoid of all the furniture and trying to imagine the memories I’ve created there.

Since my host family is already not in the States anymore, I don’t feel that bad to leave this country. I do miss the house back in Fairfield, CT though. Now, the new family has moved in. I keep wondering how they did up the place and what changes they made to it. When I sleep at night at my friends’ place, I sometimes think that I’m back in my room in Fairfield. I really, really miss it. My home for almost 2 years. It has been really a very good 2 years and I was really enjoying the comforts that the home offered. I keep having the urge to go see the house but it’s a good one and a half hours drive there and I no longer have my own car. Can’t ask my friends to drive me there just to fulfil my sentimental wishes.

Anyway, I went to NYC on Friday. It was my last time in the city. Everywhere I went, I remind myself of that and tried to remember everything that I know so well. I can move around NYC with ease and take buses or subways to go to where I want with no problem. Especially at Times Square. That was the first sight I saw in NYC and I guess it’s fitting that it was the last one too. I don’t think I will come to NYC/Times Square/USA after I go back to S’pore. Don’t really like going to the same place twice. The world is such a big place. Just to go to each place once in a life time would be impossible. Why waste time going to the same place twice?

The uncertainty of how the house in London is going to be is also another factor of me reluctant to move. It’s like coming to the States 2 years ago, except that I now know how the family is going to be like. But I can feel that my host family is maybe a little different now. I think my host parents are teaching the girls to be a little engaged from me so that it will not be too hard for them when the time comes for me to go. It’s right to do that too, but I just feel so sad. I’ve always think of them as my own and love them more than myself. Now, to tell myself to distance from them just seems very cruel to me. I wish to do it so it won’t be so hard to leave them when the time comes but it’s hard to let go.

Well, I’m flying to London on Wed(26 July). I hope London has just as good memories for me as Fairfield. Don’t really know what the future brings. I can only keep praying for guidance. A lot of unexpected things came up during these last few weeks that I didn’t plan for. I’m sure there’ll be more to come. Just hope it would not be too drastic or too much for me to handle. So far, things have been working out well.
Will not be having internet connection when I get to London. As soon as I have the time and connection, I will update more about my life there. But with all those travelling and settling down, I doubt it. Will try my best.




Sylvia
July 24, 2006 at 4:49 pm

=)

*hugs

we welcome you home soon, girl..

Monday 17 July 2006

After Alaska trip feelings

This is an entry that I’ve written on paper when I was eating alone at Chili’s Too restaurant at Alaska International Airport immediately after the tour was over. Sounds sad and desperate. Have been debating on whether to blog it online since it’s very, very personal. Decided to do it but NOT after this disclaimer.

This entry reflects my feelings at that time, but I’m okay now. Does not mean
I’m unhappy all the time.

"Friends come and go. Here I have made a few more new friends in a week. 7 days, to be exact. But at the end of the crossroad, no one really feels that sad about leaving. About leaving me. I did not leave any impressions. Not in the way I want it anyway. I did not forge any long-lasting friendships. Who would contact me personally? No one. NO ONE!! I like to be alone sometimes. But I really enjoy being in the company of good people too. Why wouldn’t people give me the chance?

I’m too quiet. Too quiet for people to be comfortable around me. All I want is just friendships to last a lifetime. Why is it so hard? I guess to be able to find really good friends that understand you and all your ideas is very hard. To be able to find friends who are comfortable with my silence is harder.

I’m feeling sad. Sad by the fact that in time to come, Sean who not even remember who I am. Maybe I left an impression. The wrong impression. The impression that I’m weak and quiet. I don’t even know the right topics to talk to him about! And with just that, I said ‘bye’ to everyone. Not even a ‘bye’ to Sean. How sad it is!

A week in Alaska just leaves me with a bunch of pictures and some memories. In years to come, when the memories fades, maybe I won’t even remember these people too. But it’s just so sad to forge friendships, eat together, sleep together, play together and then pretend that nothing special had happened in your life. Why do I have to be so sentimental? Nobody really cares much for me. Why do I care so much? Why do I even bother to be sad? All this is just part and parcel of life. So what if no one bothered to keep in touch? I would not be better or worse off than I am now.

I’m but a passerby in this place, time and country. Nothing is going to change by my being here or by my leaving. What do I matter?

I’m lonely. I’m lonely. I’m so lonely that I enjoy just having a good meal by myself. Actually I don’t enjoy it. I just want to pretend that I do. Deceiving myself? Yes! But that’s what lonely people do, don’t they?

I want someone to eat with me, someone to talk to me, someone to fly with me, someone to travel with me, someone to be with me. The more I travel, the lonelier I feel. What’s all these for when I can’t share it with anyone? I should be happy, but deep down, I’m not. I would gladly exchange everything now just to have a stable life. And someone to share laughters with, someone to share good food with, someone to share my thoughts with, someone to run to cry to, someone who just enjoys being with me, even without any spoken words. When will that come? When will I learn to be content?

Being away is a form of escape. escape from feeling, escape from reality, escape from the fact of how lonely I am. Friends can only be there for you for so much. Not 24/7, not always thinking of you, not all the time. If I’m destined to be lonely alone, I hope I can always find the means to escape."

Comments are not allowed. It was how I felt during the time when I just left the group and waiting for my plane. Any comments now would not console or do anything for when I felt that time. Also, since it’s so personal, I would prefer no mention about it when you talk to me. It’s just some random thoughts in my head. Would blog about my Alaska trip later!

Thursday 29 June 2006

Living in a seasonal country in the suburbs.

Have been wanting to write this entry for some time but because of more interesting events in my life, just didn’t get around to writing this. More of a reminder to myself than anything.

Since I have been living in the East coast of the States for almost 2 years, I’ve experienced the four seasons twice and it has been very wonderful to see nature at work. It’s also a great opportunity to be reminded of God’s miracles. I’m also living in the suburbs instead of in the city, so I can fully experience the forces of nature. I think raising children in a seasonal country and in the suburbs is very ideal. It makes their senses very keen and they get to enjoy the perks that comes with every season. Here’s why:


Spring

This is my favourite season. The weather is cooling. Not too cold like winter or too hot like summer. Good for taking walks around the neighbourhood. Spring is also a time for planting flowers. Everywhere you go, you can see pretty flowers everywhere. Tulips of different colours are seen on almost every front yards or grass patch. On walks, children get to learn the names of different flowers and how they look like. They can even get to help with the planting of flowers, grass or herbs. It also brings true to the proverb, ‘April showers bring May flowers’.
This is when the trees start flowering after the winter and seeing the process of the trees growing back their leaves is wonderful classroom material too. However, because of the pollen everywhere, it’s also a very bad time if you’re allergic to pollen or have sensitive noses. This is very common period for flu.

Summer

This season is when schools are out and children get to play the whole day! A good time to go to the beach(if you stay near the ocean). The beach in CT is the famous Long Island Sound and even in shallow water, you can see small jellyfish. Can get very hot. Good time for children to play outside the house and sweat it out, which is very healthy!

In the evenings, fireflies can be seen in the front and back yards. Coming from a city, it’s very fascinating for me to see them. I even learnt how to catch them. Apparently, you just put out your hand and bring them very gently towards you. They will just stay still on your hand. You can cup your hands together to see their ‘fire’. I’ve read from somewhere in a blog that in S’pore, some people hit the fireflies to make them giddy and then catch them. Poor fireflies! Summer is also a time when all the bugs and flies are out. Children have fun catching all sorts of bugs in the yards too and again, they learn the names and how the different bugs looks like.

Fall/Autumn

As the name suggest. Fall is when the leaves turn colour and fall off the trees they’re in. In New England(where I’m in), Fall is the prettiest. When driving along the highways, you can see trees of different colours, like orange, red, brown, green, yellow, etc. Each tree has their own timing and that’s why you can see the different stages of the leaves turning colour and falling off. Children can have fun raking leaves with their parents in the yards, although it’s a lot of work sometimes. One game to play is to gather all the leaves into a big pile and just fall backwards into the soft and crispy leaves. Very fun, albeit dirty. Can get cold at night but a light jacket would suffice(depending on where you actually live in).

Winter

Used to be my favourite season. Actually, ask any S’porean and they probably would say this is their favourite one too. That’s because we didn’t know any better! Can get very, very cold and freezing sometimes that you would not want to go out at all! It’s ok if you just go out for a while but not to go for long walks as your toes would be freezing. The wind chill factor is a big thing to consider. Children are able to play in the snow, build snow men, make snow angels, make snow forts, have snow fights and go snow sledding. The best thing of all after that is to have hot chocolate by the fire-place in the house! Also, can roast marshmallows right by the fire-place. A good chance for family bonding.

Older and more enterprising children can go around shoveling snow off others’ driveways to earn some extra money. Schools can also be closed because of too much snow. It’s also very pretty to see white everywhere after it snows. When you go outside, the cars are muffled by the snow on the ground and it’s actually very quiet and peaceful. But very, very hard work to shovel snow off the driveway after a snowstorm. Roads can be dirty or messy too when the snow are at the stage where they melt but not fast enough. Ever seen black snow? That’s when cars have been on the roads for some time and the dirty tires make them black. Yuck!

Well, these are some of my experiences and observations from my almost 2 years of living in CT. It may not apply to all seasonal countries or suburbs. I certainly appreciate nature a lot more but the changing of clothes and the constant need to check the weather before you get dressed is a hassle. Would I get used to hot, sunny S’pore again? I don’t know!




Sylvia
July 18, 2006 at 4:32 pm

winter? nah… spring’s the best. But my nose runs often so… :( and fireflies.. aww, what a pretty sight it must be..

Wednesday 28 June 2006

A busy day

Yesterday I finally went to send my box of stuff home. Actually I packed everything into one box as it’s cheaper than sending 2 boxes. However, there’s a weight limit of 66lbs and a box length limit. In the end, still ended up sending 2 boxes.

This is the second time I deal with USA state offices. The first time was when I tried to take my
driving test. Now, I have to deal with another stupid incident with stupid and inflexible people.

Now, long before I
packed my box, I’ve already went to the post office in downtown Fairfield to ask about the costs, dimensions of boxes, weight limits, etc. I even had the woman there write down the information so I can refer and adhere to it when I buy my box and pack my things. After I packed, I went online to check too and I thought that everything was good, except that maybe I’m over the weight limit. But those things had to be sent home as they’re taking too much space and I don’t need them anymore, at least for the next few months.

I know that my box is like over 70lbs, so I can’t carry the box by myself. The day before, I got Dan to put it in the van so I can bring it over to the post office. In Fairfield, there’s 3 post offices. Bere said I should go to this other post office instead of the downtown one as they have a trolley available there to help with big packages. So, I listened to her and went to this other post office. When I got there, the trolley is nowhere in sight. I had to go inside the post office to ask the man at the counter if I can have one. He was helpful enough to get it for me, but I can sense his reluctance. This is what passed between us:


Me: Do you have a trolley I can use as I have a big 70lbs(a lie!) box in the car that’s too heavy for me to carry in.

Him: Are you sure it’s 70lbs? We cannot take more than 70lbs. Ermm…I don’t know if we have a trolley. Ermmm…let me go check. You go wait outside by the blue door. If we have one, I’ll bring it out there.

So, he got one for me and I brought the trolley to my car, pulled and struggled to put the box onto it and pushed it back inside the post office. I joined the queue for like 10mins and ’suay suay’ it was the same guy that got the trolley for me that served me. When I pushed my trolley towards him, he was like, ‘ Oh boy, here we come!‘ in a not funny way.

The moment he saw my box, he’s saying, my box is too big and does not meet the standards required. He proceeded to pull out the thick book of guidelines and flipped to the one for S’pore. Then, he took out his measuring tape and started measuring the box and confirmed that my box is too big. I was going like, what! I did ask before about the measurements and I’m sure my box is below the requirements. It maybe overweight but it certainly is not too big! But, he kept pointing to the book and even showed me and refused to weigh the box or do anything for me. I had no choice but to bring the box back to my car. But the man even had the cheek to say, ‘You can use the trolley to push the box back to your car but please push it back and leave it beside the blue door.‘ I nearly wanted to slap him! I’m NOT that rude to leave the trolley outside. I may be wearing bermudas and t-shirt and wearing my glasses and obviously an Asian, but I’m not rude or stupid!


I was boiling when I finally drove away and I said to myself no way I’m going to go buy another box and repack all my things. So, I decided to go to another post office and try out. This is the 3rd post office that Fairfield had. I remembered that the people there are always friendly and helpful, so it should be better. This time, I got wiser and didn’t bring my box in. I waited in line and when it’s my turn, I asked the guy for the dimensions and weight for sending a box to S’pore. And the guy said he wasn’t sure and wanted to give me the number for the previous post office I went to and ask them! He said the guys there would know.

Well, I told him then that I had my box with me in the car and can I bring it in to show him? He asked for my dimensions and I told him it’s 18×18x24. When the guy heard that, he said, ‘Oh, that’s fine! That’s not too big, bring it in. And when you come in, don’t get in line again, just come straight to the counter for me.‘ I was so happy! He’s nice! The only thing is, I hope it wasn’t too heavy.

The problem is, this post office is smaller and I don’t see any trolley around so I didn’t ask for one. I had to try to carry the box in myself, which is impossible. I resorted to pulling and pushing on the ground until a kind old man saw me and offered to help me carry it in.

Alas, my box is too heavy! The computer wouldn’t even acknowledge how heavy it was! I still had to bring it home and take some things out to be packed into a smaller box. These going around, looking for a box, scissors, paper, tape, repacking and all made me sweat so much in the hot summer weather.


An hour later, I appeared at the same 3rd post office with my 2 boxes and I got them sent out! Managed to cut the big one down to 56lbs and the smaller one is 17lbs. Both together including insurance cost USD140.35 to send. It’s so freaking expensive although I already chose the cheapest way of sending, i.e., by boat, which will take 6-8 weeks to reach.

Actually I have more adventures to write about my events yesterday, but having written such a long one for the parcels, I’m tired. It’s time for lunch. I’ll write next time.




Kid
June 28, 2006 at 6:18 pm

Oh mine…what a hassle! But thankfully, its settled. One load off your mind liao.


Sylvia
June 28, 2006 at 10:09 pm

peng san lah you!!haha..oh well, its over eh.. more interesting stories to read soon.. ;)

Sunday 25 June 2006

Why am I still single?

Winnie, you’re single because you don’t want to settle

You, more than others, have a fairy tale fantasy of how things should be. Ever since you were a kid, you’ve probably dreamed of the perfect wedding, coming home to a white picket fence, dog, and 2.2 kids (how does that work, anyway?). When someone asks what you’re looking for, you don’t skip a beat: You’re likely to have a handy checklist that details your perfect partner. Hair and eye color, height, religion, education, career, interests, the list goes on.

While it’s great to have standards — Hey, you shouldn’t have to settle, after all — there’s one slight glitch in your master plan: No one has made the grade in real life — at least not yet. Next time you’re out with someone, keep yourself from mentally checking that list, and give love — and others — a chance. That special someone who you’ve written off may be perfect for you after all…


Why are you still single?

Saturday 17 June 2006

If I were...

If I were a month, I would be:… May

If I were a day of the week, I would be:…Friday

If I were a time of day, I would be:…6pm

If I were a sea animal, I would be:… a whale

If I were a direction, I would be:… North

If I were a sin, I would be:… gluttony

If I were a historical figure I would be:… a Victorian Princess!

If I were a planet, I would be:…Pluto

If I were a liquid, I would be:… ice-tea

If I were a stone, I would be:…a diamond

If I were a tree, I would be:…a maple tree with maple syrup!

If I were a bird, I would be:…a robin

If I were a flower/plant, I would be:…a lavender

If I were a kind of weather, I would be:… the period between spring and summer

If I were a mythical creature, I would be:…an unicorn

If I were a musical instrument, I would be:…an euphonium

If I were an animal, I would be:…a labrador dog

If I were a colour, I would be:…purple

If I were an emotion, I would be:.. deliriously happy

If I were a vegetable, I would be:… carrot

If I were a sound, I would be:… a cute little girl’s voice

If I were an element, I would be:…gold

If I were a song, I would be:… any happy love songs

If I were a movie, I would be:… The Notebook

If I were a book, I would be written by:… God

If I were a food, I would be:… Dark chocolates

If I were a place, I would be:… Heaven

If I were a taste, I would be:… sweet

If I were a scent, I would be:… cotton candy

If I were a religion, I would be:… Christianity

If I were a word, I would be:… love

If I were a body part, I would be:…eyes

If I were a facial expression, I would be:…a sweet smile

If I were a subject in school, I would be:… literature

If I were a cartoon character, I would be:… Pocahontas

If I were a shape, I would be:…a star

If I were a number, I would be:… 19

If I were a piece of jewelery, I would be:…a necklace

If I were a piece of furniture, I would be:…a bed

If I were a car, I would be:…a convertible




Sylvia
June 18, 2006 at 9:10 pm

hahaha… what in the world is a euphonium?!

Winnie
June 19, 2006 at 11:20 am

That’s the instrument that Secai was playing before he became drum major. A big thing that you sort of had to hug and blow into it?

Sylvia
June 19, 2006 at 3:57 pm

orrr… now, i wonder why you chose the euphonium?!hee..
;)

Thursday 15 June 2006

How do you see me?

To everyone who reads my blog, I would assume that you are my friends because I only use the blog through friendster. Can you do me a favour? I really want to know how people see me, especially my friends. Can you go to this site and do the Johari Window for me? It’s on how you see me. I guess with the answers, I would be able to see what my strong or weak points are and be able to work on them. Please leave a name or a nick that I would be able to identify you with. Thank you!!




Kid
June 16, 2006 at 2:39 am

Hey, who is Sylvia Lu? Her selections on Johari and mine so similar wor…i was thinking of whether to select religious but then decided to choose something else. If so, ours would be exactly the same sia.

Winnie
June 16, 2006 at 3:24 pm

Sylvia Lu is a S’pore PR, Indonesian Chinese that I got to know here in the States. You know why you have almost same choices? You kow the same person - me! Hehe…

Kid
June 19, 2006 at 9:18 am

wah biang…didnt know you could come up with this…trying to be funny yah! smart. okay..you must intro me to Sylvia Lu when both are you in SG, think we should get along real fine

A child's trust

The other day was playing with Kara and Brigid outside the house in the driveway. They were on their bikes(Kara on her 4-wheel bike and Brigid on her tricycle) and going around the driveway while I was sitting by the side on a bench. I started to play with them in that when they passed by me, I would shout, ‘Stop!’ and they would stop and I would shout, ‘Go!’ in about 2 seconds and they would go again, just like I’m a traffic light. This went on for a while, like 3-4 times and I decided to tease them a little. When Brigid came to me, I shouted, ‘Stop!’ and then proceeded to look away and pretend that I ‘forgot’ about saying ‘Go’. It wasn’t long, probably about 10 seconds or so. I thought to a young child, that would be long and she would get impatient and told me to say ‘Go’. When I happened to be ‘looking around’ and glance at Brigid, I saw that she wasn’t showing any signs of being impatient. She was just staring at me and waiting patiently for me to give her the command. She didn’t get it that I was teasing/playing with her. Her face was devoid of expressions(but not blank look) and just looking at me. I don’t really know how to describe it. When I saw that and look into her eyes, I saw one thing - TRUST. It is at that moment I realised that it’s Brigid’s best look and she really looked very beautiful, more than any smiles that she could give. Just to see that face, I did the ‘forget’ part a few times and all those times, she was still very ignorant and very patient with me. I really enjoyed playing with her that day.

This is one of those times when taking care of the girls that I feel myself ready to lay down my life for them. Even though they’re not my own children, sometimes when I hold them or when they do something, I would feel my heart just bursting with love for them, so much so that I want to cry! Hehe…


Children can be troublesome and worrisome sometimes, but it’s those moments of happiness they give you that makes you forget about all the troubles in the world and you just want to make sure that they’re safe and happy.

I’m going to miss my girls so much when I go home!!! :~(




Kid
June 16, 2006 at 3:02 am

I understand how you feel and reading this entry brings a smile to my face. I just wonder how you are gonna get through to regular momentum, pre States, coz you will really miss the family badly. Then, every single task will bring back fond memories. Be it, playing with the kids, dining together, the jokes, the outings, the companion…argh…nevermind, when u return, we go out often…me act as kid for you to take care. heheheheheh. Syl will join in the fun too.

Sylvia
June 16, 2006 at 3:13 am

yeah yeah.. we be kara and brigid lah..bec be kara cos she older and i be baby brigid lah..you can reminise then.. :) hahhaha…

Winnie
June 17, 2006 at 11:37 am

Haha! Thanks for your thoughts but it’d get kinda awkward if I hug you to my busom and give you kisses all over, right?

Wednesday 14 June 2006

What Colour?

I was listening to 93.3FM through net radio and they were doing this colour test. Found it to be VERY accurate, at least for me.

Now between four colour combinations, please choose one:



a. Orange + Yellow
b. Red + Yellow
c. Purple + Pink
d. Green + Pink

I choose Purple + Pink, and woah….!

Orange + Yellow

你過於保護自己讓人覺得太過現實,考量太多現實層面的狀況會讓你太過理智,顯得過於保護自己,一旦覺得不快樂的時候就馬上拒絕對方,這樣的態度自然阻擋了追求者的出現,而且記得要把對舊情人的愛完全放掉,才能重新找到新感情。


Red + Yellow

因為你的強勢把追求者嚇跑了,基本上你太過大男人或大女人主義,具有強烈的掌握慾望,處處想要佔上風,所以你會想要約束對方,但這樣的態度反而會讓人不敢接近。


Purple + Pink

太過被動的等待愛情是你的致命傷,如果想要被人追求就得先轉變生活圈,才有可能會遇到好的對象。選擇這個顏色的人個性會比較保守而且對愛完全理想化,雖然平時可能給人家的感覺是非常開放的,但是她的內在卻非常傳統,一旦談戀愛就做好嫁人的心理準備。


Green + Pink

眼光太高而且愛挑剔別人的你,讓人有距離感不敢靠近你,試著把標準放低一點,追求者自然會出現!

Thursday 8 June 2006

Dutch - The best Doggy in the World



This week will be the last week I get to spend with Dutch, the Labrador dog of my host family. On Friday, Anne’s parents will be coming over to the house and when they go home on Monday, they will bring Dutch back with them. This is because Dutch needs to be quarantined for 6 months before she can go over to London. She’s still in her quarantine period and it will end in Sept. So, Anne’s parents are going to take care of Dutch in the meantime. My host family will get her when they come back for Dan’s sister’s wedding in Sept. This also means that I would not be able to see Dutch again after this week.



According to calculations, I should be ending my work with my host family in or around Sept. After that, I will do some travelling before going back to S’pore. So, I guess I may have to miss seeing Dutch in London. Didn’t think that I will miss her that much but as the week comes to an end, I realise that I do and will miss her. She’s the dog that I never had(except for ‘boy boy’ which I had for a short 3 months in 2001). Dutch is also the best and most well-behaved dog I’ve ever seen. She understands what you say to her and never barks unnecessarily. The most precious thing is that she’s so good with children. She’s so patient with the girls(especially Brigid), all over her. The most she does is to grunts a little or sigh but she never throw them off her or does anything to harm children. Because of Dutch’s big size, young children will naturally be scared of her if they see her at first. If they only know! I always feel sorry for Dutch that she has to be misunderstood just because of her big size.



I think Dutch realises that she’s going to not see me again. This week, she’s especially attached to me. Wherever I go in the house, she follows me. When I’m in the study on the computer(which is like most of the time), she’ll stay in the room with me too. She also likes to go to my room and look for me and even if I’m not in my room, she’ll lie there instead of her usual spot in my host parents’ room where she has her own bed. I guess she wants the smell of me in my room. Of course, sometimes she follows me around because she wants me to give her dog treats but even after I gave her some, she’ll still stick around. I can’t understand what she wants. Normally she doesn’t behave this way. Does she really know what’s going to happen? I didn’t even tell her!



Labradors normally can live up to 14-15 human years(I think) and considering that Dutch is already 9/10 human years old, the chance of me seeing her again after I leave, is slim. In a way, I think I’m glad for that too. I can’t imagine being there when she’s too old or too sick and have to be put down. Or worse, having an accident of some kind. I still remember how ‘boy boy’ died before my eyes. It was horrible and I don’t want to go through that. This way of saying goodbye is good cos I’ll always have the memory of when she’s well and cute in her own way, with her sad and pleading eyes. I’ll always remember taking her walks around the neighbourhood, giving her treats and meals and her eating right from my hand ever so gently.



I guess Brigid will find it difficult to adjust too. She loves her doggy! Always giving Dutch kisses on her head, patting her, hugging her and even using Dutch as a bed/pillow and laying on her. But for Brigid, it’s just a short few months of separation. For me, it maybe forever. Well, I’m thankful for this opportunity to have a dog to take care of and also love in my own way. Will always know Dutch as the Best Dog in The World!


awww.. you make me wanna cry too.. i’m sorry you have to leave Dutch behind dear..

Sunday 4 June 2006

Packing up

Yesterday was with Bere in my room trying to pack up some of the things that I’ve accumulated these 2 years and send them home. There’s no way I can squeeze everything that I have now into the 2 luggages I brought with me when I first came. I figured it’s better to send them from here(USA) than from London as the English pound will be so much more expensive than the US dollars.

Anyway, as I was packing, I had to decide which of the things I want to leave with me and which ones to send home. This is when I’m reminded that I only have to decide what I’ll need for the next 4-6 months. I don’t think I will stay any much longer than that. Having been away from home and S’pore for almost 2 years, I feel that maybe it’s time for me to go home. Even if I do plan to stay longer in London, I do want to go back home and see my friends and family first.


When I first packed to come here, I packed for what I’d need for a year. Now, I need only to pack for what I’d need for a few months. I also have to reduce the things I have to carry in my suitcases because I do plan to travel in England and I do not want to have to lug heavy luggages around when I travel. This greatly stresses me as I’m not able to decide what I do and will need and I’m used to the thinking that I may need a lot of things. It also saddens me greatly. When you pack for a long trip, it always fills you with a feeling of excitement or sadness. This time, because I’m packing in preparation for going home, it just gives me the reality check that I’ll soon be going home, to S’pore, maybe permanently. I’ll be leaving this host family that I’ve come to love and be loved, that I’ve grown comfortable to, that I’ve spent a memorable part of my life with. Who knows what the future may bring and whether we will meet again.

As the date for moving to London grows closer(somewhere around the first two weeks of July), and I have to pack again(this time, everything), I’m sure that I will feel the sadness for this house that I’ve called home for the past 2 years. It’s a big, beautiful and comfortable house that I would not have to chance to live in again. I’ll also have to say farewell to this part of the States and the States itself. It has been a vacation of 2 years and I really feel blessed to have the opportunity to experience all that this country has to offer me.

Well, I managed to pack up all my things into one big box(18" x 18" x 24") and I realised that this frees up a lot of space for my suitcases. Maybe I can go buy more stuff to fill them! Hehe…But then I have to spend like over a hundred dollars just to send this box home, I guess there goes the money to buy more stuff. :( I’ll just control myself and save up money to go travelling in Scotland and Ireland! Woohoo!!

Wednesday 31 May 2006

I am Cinderella!!

You scored as Cinderella. Your alter ego is Cinderella! You often find
yourself doing a lot of housework, but if you are patient, your hard
work usually pays off. You are prone to losing things, so dont rush
through everything.


Cinderella 81%
Goofy 75%
Sleeping Beauty 69%
Peter Pan 50%
Pinocchio 44%
Ariel 44%
The Beast 38%
Snow White 31%
Donald Duck 25%
Cruella De Ville 19%


Which Disney Character is your Alter Ego?created with QuizFarm.com



Sylvia

June 1, 2006 at 4:11 pm


i’m the beast?!

hahaha…