I am who I am

I read a book recently. It's a fiction book but written very well, in such a way that there's some sort of meaning in there. If you do not want to dwell on it too much, it's fine but me being me, I always reflect on what I read and imagine if I were the characters, what I would do.

In the book, there's 3 women who had met with some traumatic events in their life within the past year. They met a psychiatrist who brought them to live in another place. These 3 women, who are strangers to each other, found comfort in talking to each other their problems and at the same time found magic in this strange town. They were given a chance to go back into a time in their lives that they would like to do something, mainly the traumatic event, so that their lives would be changed for the rest of their lives.

After reading this book, I've been thinking that if I had a chance to go back into a time in my life to change something or do something differently, so that my life would not be what it is now, which point would that be? I really had been thinking hard about it. In various stages of my life, I chose and then changed my mind. Actually, my first twelve years of my life all happened in a blur. I can't really remember much of it, except in snatches of it here and there. Only when I got to secondary school, do I feel that I've started my life.

I did think of going back to secondary school but it was the happiest years of my life (happy and unhappy events) and I do not want to change anything then. I thought of going back to my JC days, maybe study harder for my 'A' levels so I could go to a local University and thus my whole life from then on would change. However, it's because of getting into my University that I met YY, and she brought me to my current church, so I do not want to change that. The thing I do not want to change the most was my 2 years spent in USA. Those are some of the best days of my life and I really, really treasure them. There may have been times that I wish I could do things differently while there, but they're not so importantly that they're life-altering, so do not warrant me going back to change them.

After thinking about it, I decided that all the decisions that I made in my life, brings me back to who I am now. Whether they are good or bad, right or wrong, they are made by me at that point when I thought it was the best decision. So, I've decided that given the chance to change something in my life, I would choose not to do anything. Yes, I may not have any accomplishments or achievements in life now but I chose it. The people that I met in various stages of my life are also based on the decisions I made at various points. So, I think I should be happy and stop procrastinating!

Carrot cake

I finally tried out the recipe for baking the carrot cake. The result is not bad at all. Probably that the frosting is too sweet for everyone's tastes but then I think that should be how cakes taste like. Anyway, other then posting up pictures of how the cake turns out, I want to blog about my baking process. It was an eventful day, even though it's my day of rest (don't even have to go choir tonight!) at home.

Well, since it's Friday, I woke up in time to watch 'Survivor', direct off satellite on tv. I had planned to bake the carrot cake today, so I got ready all the things that I need to use and wash them so they would be dry when I need to use them. Nearing the end of 'Survivor', a person from NEA came to check on the house for Aedes mosquitoes. Good thing nothing found or we would have been summoned. After the man left, I was hesitating whether to bake or not. The weather is so super hot that I have no mood to do anything. Just want to sit in front of the computer and do nothing. In the end, I thought since I got the things ready, I might as well do it, if not, I may not have time to do it and I really want to try out this recipe.

So, I have some ingredients that I need to buy from the shop, so I changed to go downstairs. he moment I reached the first level, and stepped out of the lift, it started to rain. I was going to risk it by running across to the next block (where the shop is) but found the rain to be a little heavy, so I decided to go back home to get an umbrella. I also remembered that I had clothes that I need to bring in from the rain! So, I went up again, brought in the clothes, brought along a bag to put my groceries (so can save the environment by not using plastic bags), took an umbrella and prepared to go down a second time. While waiting for the lift, I noticed that it's not raining anymore!!?? It's a passing shower. I left my umbrella by the door and went to get my things. I managed to get all the things I need except cream cheese. So, I had to walk two blocks to another shop to try my luck and I was very happy that I found it!

By the time I got home, I was pretty sweaty and tired, but getting the things made me all excited and I proceeded with my baking. All went well. I'm glad to report that it turned out exactly as I wanted. Ok, enough with all these talks. Pictures for you!

This was taken when the cake was fresh out of the oven. Looks very good! I didn't over bake it, surprisingly as I tend to do that, holding the view that, 'Overdone is better than underdone'. Ha!

The cake after it has cooled and I put frosting on. I was in a hurry to eat and see how it tastes like, so I cut it very quickly before remembering about taking pictures.

Close up of the inside of the cake. I also added walnuts into it as I've also liked the feeling of having things to bite when eating.

Comments from my family are that the frosting is a tad too sweet but the walnuts give the cake a nice flavour. I don't know why, but my mum says she can taste almonds! I didn't even put almond essence! Well, anyway, this project goes well! But it's so troublesome to make it. I'd rather stick to my Blueberry Crumble. Next time, I'll try cheesecake.