Miss Tay, can I go to the toilet?

The past week has been sort of busy for me again. Thanks to M in church, I got to go to her primary school to do relief teaching for her primary 2 class. So, on Monday and Tuesday I went to DZ’s school for Chinese Conversation classes, Wednesday and Thursday at M’s school for relief teaching and Friday to DZ’s school again for Chinese Conversation.

I didn’t realise that I takes so much to relate and ‘take care’ of thirty or so of 8 year olds. They are so full of energy and never shuts their mouths! There’s always someone who comes to me to complain of someone else bad-mouthing him/her, or someone coming to complain of me not calling them to answer questions and the winner of it all, is as the title says. I’m sick of hearing, ‘Miss Tay, can I go to the toilet?’ What’s wrong with their bladder anyway? They’re still so young! And I thought I go to the toilet often enough! I don’t remember going to the toilet so often during my primary school days. In fact, I don’t even dare to ask my teacher permission to go toilet. I would always try to hold till I really can’t bear with it anymore. Such was my respect and fear towards my teachers. However, the children these days are so daring. They openly criticise you, complain about you, and even talk back to you in such a way that it’s almost rude!

Of course, it doesn’t help that I pulled a nerve/muscle again on my right shoulder blade. Was so stiff on Wednesday when I woke up. I couldn’t lift my hands, turn my head to the right side or even look down. All this and I still had to keep up with a bunch of energetic kids! I had no choice but to go down to ‘Chien Chi Tow’ at Yishun on Wednesday evening after school to have my back massaged. It was such a torture, I tell you. The fact that I was already in pain already makes my back untouchable. The person had to use like all her strength on me. It was like being in a torture chamber. When I complained, she said she didn’t use much strength. Oh my. It was excruciating pain. But because I had to go through another day with the children the next day, I clenched my fist, grit my teeth and bore with the pain. I can feel my whole back having blue-black all over when I came back. At least I think it worked. I can turn and move my head now. I just cannot sit without moment for long or my back will cramp up and any movement will be painful.

So glad that another week has passed. I will be really jobless from next week on. The job I had hope to get didn’t go through, so I have to start all over again. Pray….

The past…is past…

I was looking through my gmail, where I kept all my past emails from during the time I went to the States until now. Yes, I keep all the emails that all important to me. In fact, all the replies that were sent to me when I sent out my updates of my life, I kept in the gmail account. It is so big that I still have not even reached 20% of the storage space.

So, anyway, I was looking through the emails. At the same time I was reading the mails that I sent out updating about my life in USA and everything that I did there. Really brings back lots of memories and as I was reading, the images came flooding into my head. The house, the girls, the Lynches, the neighbourhood, the neighbours, my au pair friends and many, many more. I could even trace back to when I went to a city for travel and what I did in certain months! I was such a regular writer! Ha!

I also went through the replies that were sent to me by my friends. It was real heart-warming, touching and sad at the same time. Heart-warming because I’m reminded of the encouragements and positive words through the emails that some friends sent to me when I was abroad. Touching because I’m reminded of the things that some friends offered to help me when I was in a foreign land. Some offered to send me things from home, some opened up their places for me to visit while I was there, etc. Sad because in a lot of ways, many things had changed since then and I don’t even hear or see from those same friends who offered me the support that I needed back when I wanted them to.

It seems that I was closer to my friends when I was not physically there with them. Such is the nature of humans. We only cherish when something is not around. In the emails, there are many lines of, ‘I miss you’, ‘I wish you were here’, etc. Also, many of my dear friends are more willing to bare their thoughts to me through emails. It seems that we’re very shy when it comes to talking face-to-face. Never in a million years would we be so frank and update with as much details as when we are not talking in person. D and YY used to email me with some sort of regularity when I was in USA. Now that I’m back, I don’t even see them anymore. I do care about them as they were an important part of my growing up years into an adult. D even mentioned in one of the earlier emails that he missed the days when we had Friday nights suppers, talking and sharing. I do miss those days too but now that I’m actually back, everyone has moved on to another point in their life and no one seems to be willing to stop and think or listen.

Well, just getting a little nostalgic. I’m always doing this sort of things. I used to always take my primary and secondary school autograph books out and just think about my friends. I also often look through photo albums to remember better and happier times. I’m just someone who just can’t stay out of trouble. Like the title, the past, is past…



Dennis
October 1, 2008 at 10:45 am

Well, just to let you know that i do still keep a point to visit your blog and hear your thoughts once in a while. It’s been a while since we folks and the rest last met. I bumped into YY the other day and chatted alittle. Its true that things are different now as we all going thru different paths of our lives. And somehow, and strangely, i kind of know u more of a person , through your writing, rather than in person. Well that’s beside the point.

Anyway just dropping by to say hi and to show that i am still breathing and strong, haha. Hope the same goes for you.

Dennis

End of a busy week

Last week was a very crazy week for me. Seems all of a sudden, everything comes at the same time. I was asked by the school that I was teaching part-time to do relief teaching for a whole week for one of the Chinese teacher. This means that I have to wake up at 6am and be in school by 7.30am. That’s not all. They have a stupid system that we have to work for5.5 hrs each day to qualify for a full day pay. The official school hours are already 7.40am to 1.10pm. That is exactly 5.5hrs. They even stated that they do not pay for lunch hours. So, I’m expected to stay longer at the school in order to fulfill the required hours just so I can get what I deserved. What a stupid system. No teacher will have classes for the whole 5.5hrs throughout and they expect you to be having classes all day.

Anyway, other than getting up at 6am everyday, I also have the choir singing for gospel rally at Indoor Stadium last week. Other than Monday, which I was free, I had choir in church on Tuesday and from Wednesday to Sunday night, I was at Indoor Stadium. Everyday got back at 11pm plus, close to 12am. The next day go to school. It was really a very busy and tiring time. Not only do I feel tired everyday, I spent a lot on travelling time and fares too.

Want to talk about the gospel rally. It was my very first time listening to the whole series of talks by Rev. Stephen Tong. He is a very intelligent person. While he is able to use a lot of examples in his talks, I find it too fast and intellectual for the common people. Other than the talk on the last Sunday night, the rest of the nights have talks that require one to sit at attention and listen carefully to all that he’s talking. If at any point you get distracted or even takes time to think about what he was saying, you will lose the whole tread of his talk. That being said, I enjoyed this chance in participating in the choir for this rally. I enjoyed learning the hymns and glad to have the chance to be with other people who shows such good vocal prowess. It is a marked difference from the choir standards that we have at church. Shows that when you have the time to really practise, a song or hymn can be sung well.

Now that I finally have the time to relax, I start to pay for last week’s fatign. My throat starts to get sore. Makes even swallowing saliva painful. Then, I had my period. The painful cramps! Then, I had something of a heart burn or something. The last time I told the doctor I had this problem, he suspected me to have gallstones. After doing an expensive ultra sound test, it shows that I’m in good health. I was told to eat some medicine but it didn’t really help. The only solution is to sleep it off.

Well, next week will be the last week of the part-time teaching. I have to get some other job to earn some money. Have a job that is in the works now. I really hope it goes through, meaning that it will at least pay decently. It will be something that I will love. Pray, Pray.

Change of layout!

Friendster has made a change to their blog site. I decided to change to it early since eventually everyone will need to change. Thought of changing my blog colours and theme at the same time but the choices offered are not that great. I don’t like my blog to have a white background. Other than black, there’s 2 other choices - pink and blue. I like the pink one but it has flowers and hearts as side pictures and I think it’s too much for my character. The blue one has a big lotus at the top. Makes me think of Buddist themes. Since I’m a Christian, I decided against it. So, once again, it’s still back to plain old black. Ha! Still getting used to the new blog functions. I can’t find the button that allows me to enlarge the text, like the old one has. I also don’t see the button for attaching pictures, although there is a ‘Add media’ thing but the window that pops up seems complicated. Never mind. I’ll deal with it when I need to upload pictures.

I recently registered to be a relief teacher. Just when MOE has sent me the form confirming my registration, I got a call from Dezhong’s school wanting me to take relief classes for a week for one of the Chinese teacher. Talk about good timing. Anyway, will do this for some time and see how. Hopefully these experiences of relief teaching and teaching the Conversation Mandarin will help me in my application for a full-time teacher.

Lots of happenings lately on the home front. Not going to talk about that as I don’t want anyone to know. Very complicated. I know my brothers and me taking the passive stand is not helping but we just feel too laid back for too long to be active in it now. I’m still praying that things will go well. I just know that I need money. Lots of money. At the same time, I do not want to lose my sense of identity. There’s ways to earn money. Getting a proper job, staying in an office and hating the thought of getting up every morning is one way. I really do not want to do that. Call me selfish but despite all the problems, I still want to do the things that define me. That makes me comfortable and happy. I deserve happiness even though there’s so much unhappiness around, right? Well, the next week and months are crucial periods. We’ll just have to take it as it comes along.