Depressed

Have not been writing ever since the new year started. The usual reason. Nothing exciting to blog about. When there was actually something to write about, I would not have access or the chance to write down. So when the time has past, I would lose my passion to write.

I got a wireless usb modem from M1 so I can use internet at home. Good news? No! Everytime I go online, it’s like trying to win the lottery. The connection sucks! Anyway, at least I got to talk to Kara, Brigid and Anne online using Skype last night. Was able to see the girls and Conor too. That was my highlight of the month! Was really very happy to see them and connect with them, even though I had to stay up till 1.30am to talk to them and only got like 6 hours plus sleep because I have to get up early today for church. Kara is able to read and write on her own now and yesterday she typed "I miss you" to me! She did that on her own and I was so touched.

Anyway, why the headline ‘Depressed’? I’m also not sure. Just that maybe I’m a little ‘lost’, like what my friend puts it. I don’t know what I’m doing everyday, what I’m working for and what I’m hoping for. Everyday I go through the motions expected of me - wake up, go to work, talk to people, try to deal with clients, try my best in doing my work, come home, watch tv, sleep, next day do the same things again. I’m not passionate about my work at all. Just doing it for the money. If I change and get out of this job, I also don’t know what I would like to do. Just feel very empty. So much so that I have lost a lot of feelings for things. I’m not sure how to put it into words too. I’m just…depressed, and filled with dread at another work week ahead.

Happy New Year!!

Hi all! Have not been blogging for some time now. Other than due to the fact that I do not have internet at home, it’s also because my life has been quite boring. So ordinary that I do not have the words to put into words.

Anyway, since it’s the beginning of a new year, I thought I should, like everyone else, do a recap and think of what I would like to achieve in 2008.

2007 have been very interesting for me. I managed to get a job and then change to a new one. I guess my venture into the corporate world is slowly taking shape. However, since I managed to find bosses/companies which are deemed unusual, I’m not sure how long I would stay at each job. Actually I like the jobs I’m doing, especially the front line stuff. It’s the back-end crap that I detest.

In 2008, I hope to be able to, in no particular order:-

1) Lose weight! If not 10kg, at least 5kg? Not a far fetch idea, right?

2) Fall in love. I know this can’t be rushed but I can at least hope?

3) Travel. I did not go anywhere in 2007 except for Bangkok in Mar. I need to get my fix of foreign air! Suffocating!

4) Visit my host family, wherever they are. By end of 2008, I’ll have not seen them for 2 years. I miss my girls badly and I really hope to see them again before I turn into a distant memory(if I have not already turned into one). Children forget so easily…

5) I’m juggling a lot of commitments and posts in church. Hopefully I get to do my part in serving and work to the best of my abilities for God. Sometimes I’m not sure if I’m doing it for God or for people. At least if I try, I can say I did my best.

Okay, I don’t want to stretch myself too far and pile myself with lots of wishes. Having said all that, those are not my resolutions. Don’t really believe in making resolutions as I never remember what I set out to do. Just hope to do some things that I think are important to me. That’s it for now. When I’ve thought of more things, I’ll blog them down.



Kid
January 2, 2008 at 5:46 am

right on the resolution part…i never seem to remember mine too….well, except for the constant reminder to lose weight! duh…thats like bloody difficult to achieve sia..not with me thinking of food every hour. looking forward to lunch, dinner, planning meals for the next day….kakakak i’m hopeless. not going to dash your hope but 10kg, is way too mission impossible unless ur going to be steadfast and real determined. 5kg well, achievable. nike slogan - you can do it. keep telling yourself and probably sooner than you know, aim achieved. easy for me to encourage pple but never easy for me to work that on myself. fat hope. duh…kinda destined. sigh….

love reading about pple doing up the past happenings and stuff they hope to accomplish for the new year but i never seem to be able to get one done myself. me terrible in that aspect….sigh if only someone can write it for me instead of me having these jumbled up memories in my mind plus whatever crap entries that i have blogged thus far.

nevertheless, main point of my comment is to wish you a Happy New Year, that everything will go smoothly for you and where obstacles arises, you can ride through it confidently