My sign

The last few lines about loves to travel, loves to dream, dislike being at home and restless, very true! However, I'm not saying I believe in star signs. This is just for fun.

Wonderful weekend

The weekend just past, I had very good times spent with those that I hold dearest to me. As I just started work last Tuesday, I was feeling very tired the whole week. This new schedule of waking up early, sleeping early is still difficult to adjust.

Anyway, Friday night, it was an unusual night as there was no choir practise. I decided it being Friday and all, it’s too good to waste on going home, though I was very tired. Decided to organise an informal dinner. Managed to get J and ZC. We went to Billy Bombers at Heeren. It was a good meal filled with good conversation and relaxing in the company of good friends. After dinner, ZC sent us home in his new car! Haha. So happy for him and it benefits me too!

On Sat, went karaoke with WJ & YJ. Had been wanting to go singing for some time and finally had the chance to go. I was happy with my voice that day and although did not sing a lot of songs, again, being in the company of good friends is such a pleasure. Went to have dinner at Sakae Sushi with YJ after that. Wonderful! I love sushi! Went home full but satisfied.

On Sunday, after all the usual church activities, went to have lunch at a Hong Kong cafe. YY managed to join us. This lunch is also due to the fact that ZC got his new car and we can get more people to join and go further. Again, I’m blessed to be able to have good friends surrounding me. Went home with YY after that and got a call from ZC regarding our planned trip in Dec. Talked for 2 hours! I had to spend the time at YY’s home so we can research on the net and discuss on the phone with ZC. I’m very happy that there’s no more awkwardness(at least I feel) with YY. Always feel such a pity that we were not able to be closer friends.

It’s been a good weekend. However, I didn’t have a good sleep last night and now, sitting in office, I just want to sleep! Hopefully today will have things to learn, things to do so time passes faster.

Pressure or responsibilities?

I watched a show recently and one of the characters in the show reflects a lot of my feelings and personality. Can really feel myself being the same person in the show and I can understand the issue being discussed.

Ever since I came back from USA, I’ve been thinking a lot about going away again. I think the freedom and lack of responsibilities for the 2 years abroad has been ingrained so much in me that I feel that it’s so pressurised to be back here in Singapore. I hate living at home, where my mum seems to be breathing down my neck at everything I do - what time I sleep, what time I get up, when I do housework, when I eat, what I eat, where I go. Yes, they may be ways of her showing her concern but since we’ve not been really that close growing up, I think it’s pretty late now to be showing close concern and expect me to be appreciative of it and reciprocate. I’m quiet, period. Accept it. There’re even things that I don’t admit and tell to myself, much less to another person.

In the television show, that’s a clear issue. The reason for going away, is it because of pressure of to run away from responsibilities? 是感到压力，还是逃避责任？I’ve been thinking about it myself too. I have to finally admit that the latter is the more appropriate reason why I want and feel so much for going away. Can say that I want to run from the many responsibilities I have to shoulder.

Admittedly, the 2 years abroad has brought much freedom, joy, fun and experiences, but that’s lots of loneliness, boredom, sadness and homesickness too. It’s just that the happier reasons outweighs the sad ones.

If only I can get over the selfishness in me. Then perhaps I can truly feel happy to be back home, with friends and family.