Last day

When I first met them, one was jumping with joy at seeing a new person to play with, one was drooling and shy to see a stranger. When she holds out her wet fingers to me, I cringe with disgust and hope against hope I’ll get used to it fast. She can’t even talk and we have a slight communication problem. No problem with the older one. She’s sociable and made me get to work immediately, irritating me with her non-stop chatter and questions.

When I changed the first poopy diaper for her, I nearly vomited there and then because of the stinky smell. I’ve never actually changed a single soiled diaper in my life although I’ve seen it countless times to know the theory. That was a big mess. It happened to be a big poop and I had to drop the diaper on the floor, face down! Had to go get something to wipe the poop off the floor. In the rush to make sure she doesn’t fall off the changing table, I stepped on the poop on the floor. Had my socks on, so had to take it off and wash it. After much struggles, I finally got her changed. We learnt together and I was proud of myself. I actually looked forward to changing her next diaper. Can even do it single-handedly now.

When I tried to feed them, it gave me headaches. Never tried to cook a decent meal for myself before, much less for 2 young children. We had our trial and errors. The older one likes tomatoes, the younger one hates it. The younger one likes macaroni and cheese, the older one dislikes it. The older one likes plum, the younger one is not so hot for it. The younger one likes cantaloupe, the older one wouldn’t touch it. The older one is adventurous in trying new food, the younger one is more conservative. We eventually discovered all of us like the fried rice I made, carrots, broccoli and fruits too. We learnt and discover together.

When I’m away from those who I love and those who love me, they gave me their love, trust, hugs and slobbery kisses. I, in turn gave them my heart, treating them like my own and don’t even bother to correct others when they call me their mummy.

When we’re comfortable with each other now and they’ve begun to take me for granted, it’s time to leave. One is learning her letters and numbers and learning to read while the other is talking so much now that she keeps asking ‘why’ questions that I have no answers to. Perhaps it’s time. Perhaps I’m not ready. Perhaps there’ll be another time to meet again. I don’t know. Remembering my 3-4 years old period, I can’t remember anything. They won’t too. Maybe I won’t be remembered. Maybe I would. I’m just glad to be able to, in a small way, be able to shape their growing up years.

When I think of my girls, Kara and Brigid, I’ll always think of 2 beautiful, innocent faces. The love we shared and the fun we had. I’ll never forget them, even if they do. I just hope that I’ll eventually have girls(or boys) that I can truly call my own, so I would not have to dream of these 2 whom I had, for 2 short years.



Sylvia
September 25, 2006 at 4:35 pm

aww..
*hugs

Reminders to myself

Below are just things that happened on my Ireland trip. They don’t make sense to anyone but me as I don’t want to forget what I did for Ireland trip. Don’t have to read as it’s really boring.

Day 1

• Met Mike on bus. Gave my name as Ling Ling, forgot I gave it as Winnie when I registered for the trip. He started calling me Ling.
• Slane hill. Had introductions. Mike called me Ling again. Introduced myself as Winnie.
• Had lunch with Renae at a really cheap and nice place. Realised that the others went to a pub for lunch together.
• Shared hostel room with Kirsty, Kym and Mel.
• Had Black taxi tour.
• Went out as a big group in search of dinner with Kym, Mel, Kirsty, Francine, Charlie, Shawn, Jess, Kate.
• Went to Crown Liquor Saloon for a pint before looking for dinner again
• Most places too small for us or have to wait too long for tables
• Walked for 3 hours before finally settling on Robinson’s Bar
• Had soup for dinner
• Went downstairs. Stayed a little till the traditional Irish music band played.
• Disappointed no one dancing Irish dance. Went back to sleep

Day 2

• Gossip of the morning. Jasmine ran off with an Irish guy she met at the bar the previous night. Won’t be joining the tour anymore
• Carrick-a-rede rope bridge. Drizzle a little
• Had group photo taken
• Had lunch at pub near the bridge.
• Sat with Kym, Mel and Charlie
• Had soup and onion rings. Charlie had Ploughman’s lunch
• Went Giants Causeway. Walked by myself all the way
• Shared a room with Brooke and Kate and another American girl not in our tour, Kelly.
• Had walking tour around Derry
• Brooke, Kate, Mel and Kym decided to make dinner. I joined in. Made stir fry noodles. Paid only 1.23 pounds. Very cheap!
• Went to Wetherspoon Bar - The Ice Wharf. Had first taste of Smirnoff Ice. Liked it. Nearly got drunk when drink too fast
• Sat with Charlie and talked a little
• Shawn winked and touched my chin when saying bye but it felt normal. Was amused by it
• Walked home with Luke.
• Couldn’t sleep well the whole night as Brooke was snoring very loudly

Day 3

• Realised everyone had a cheese burger after drinking the night before. Sad to miss out on something.
• Went to Yeats’ resting place
• Had lunch at place where they had surf gliding. Soup again
• Reached Galway and realised everyone was already paired up for hostel room. I was left out. Felt very sad
• Had to bunk with Brooke, Katrina, Becs, Francine and Rose
• Jasmine rejoined us for the tour. Dying to know what happened
• Went out to pub to watch Hurling finals - Kilkenny against Cork. Kilkenny won
• Left the above group as got bored. Went back to hostel just in time to catch Kym’s group leaving. Was happy!
• Went to another pub to watch hurling
• Walked around Galway. Went to Fish & chips shop Mike recommended but didn’t find it good.
• Decided to cook own dinner but had to walk very far to find a grocery shop that’s open as shops close early on Sunday
• Had tortilla chips with salsa dips, Bread with pesto sauce and a few other dips. Was full
• Intend to sleep after dinner but group going out to see Irish dancing and hear Irish music. Didn’t want to miss it
• Went to pub with Luke, Charlie, Kym, Mel, Kate, Shawn
• Band was playing Australian music and songs which made the people very happy. Rest of people eventually joined in
• Went to check out other pub with Luke, Kym and Kirsty
• Went to another pub with Kym. Got asked for IDs
• Went back to join others. Wanted to go home but Kym had to stay to protect Renae from getting picked up by a NY Westchester guy
• Walked home with Jess and someone I can’t remember
• Woke Katrina up when got back to hostel. She was pissed off she slept through a night of pubbing.
• Brooke snored again but it wasn’t too loud this time

Day 4

• Castle owned by the Lynches
• Portal tomb. Group picture taken by Karen
• Lunch at a pub. Soup. Sat with Charlie, Kym, Mel and Kate.
• Met other groups of tourists. Had eye contact with a cute guy from USA. Smiled a few times but didn’t say anything.
• Went to Cliffs of Moher and met the same guy again. Started walking together and talking
• Started raining very heavily while walking the cliffs. Guy helped me a few times. Touched hands! haha
• Walked back under the same umbrella together. Talked more
• He just said bye and walked away! Didn’t ask for contact details.
• Night at Randy Leprechaun. Karaoke night
• Charlie came on his own accord to sit with me. Talked a little with the other about family
• Realised Charlie has 4 sisters!
• Everyone sang some songs
• Liked the song ‘Down under’ by Men at Work. Charlie sang it with Becs, I think. I’m among Australians. Have to like it! haha
• Crazy people downed ‘Car bombs’, which is 3/4 pint of Guinness with a shooter of Whiskey and Baileys dropped into the pint and drank in 10 secs.
• Went to bed. Shared room with Renae, Kym, Mel, Kate and Kirsty

Day 5

• Realised the other drunks and smokers partied till about 5am the previous night. Felt I missed something again
• Went to lake to have group pictures taken
• Went Slea Head and Giants Causeway
• Katrina, the kiss and teller, revealed her interesting pick ups on the trip. Dunno who will read this blog, so can’t say
• Lunch at a small town. Mushroom soup and had ice-cream cone for dessert.
• Reached Killarney. Shared room with Kym, Mel, Kate, Renae and Rose.
• Charlie and Francine shared a 2-bedroom all to themselves
• Had horse cart ride
• Shared dinner with 8 others. Went to Tesco to buy. Mostly cheese and crackers, dips and bread and chips. 5 Euros per person
• Last night, everyone decided to dress up for it
• Kym loaned me her shirt as I don’t have dress up clothes. One that to me feels low-cut
• Went to The Granary for cocktails. 4 Euros each. Shots at 3 Euros each. I had Grasshopper cocktail. Good drink
• Everyone said I looked good.
• Mike says I look good. Realises I’m 27. Jokingly and immediately went down on his knees to propose. Was so funny and made me very, very happy
• Went to another pub for drinks. Mike kept close to me. Even bought me a shot drink called ‘Cowboy boots’. 3/4 sambuca and 1/4 baileys. I downed it and didn’t feel a thing.
• Tried to take pictures with Mike and he kissed me. Then he quietly slipped away
• Someone who tried to pick Kym up at 1am plus bought a drink for me. Red bull with vodka. Not too bad. Shared it with Kate
• Partied till 2.30am
• Renae stayed out the whole night with a guy from another tour she met at the bar
• Slept at around 3am

Day 6

• Had to wait in line for shower in the morning. Thought there was a guy in the toilet. Later realised no one in there! Felt stupid
• Had to rush to shower and pack and have breakfast
• Mike was late in the morning and in a foul, grumpy mood. Didn’t talked at all unless it’s necessary
• Went to Blarney castle. Didn’t kiss Blarney stone as felt it was too dirty
• Mike seems to be in better mood after we came back from Blarney castle. No mention of previous night’s events
• Cahir castle in Tipperary
• Asked Mike how come he still has hangover when he went back early last night. He said he wanted to say I’m young and naive but then remembered I’m close to age as him. He’s 29, btw
• Reached Dublin. Had to say goodbye to everyone
• No one crying, so I have to force myself not to cry.
• Mike finally said jokingly that we not getting married?
• I asked for his email. Said in 3 years if I really not married, I’ll look for him. That’s what he said last night anyway
• He said I don’t need him. He’ll be a bad influence on me. Very reluctantly gave me his work email
• Walked around a little before going to airport to wait the night out
• Met up with Patrice and Winston at airport

Kid
September 18, 2006 at 8:09 pm

hey, i read this entry and i’m surprised that i rather enjoyed it. not in the least boring!!! cant wait for you to come back..no worries, if there are actions, u wont be missed. but be positive, on the other hand, at times when pple exclude you from their activities, they dont know what they are missing out on too! so dont be too upset.

Scotland trip

I’m back from Scotland! Sad to say, I didn’t enjoy Scotland as much as I enjoyed Ireland. After the crazy and fun-filled week in Ireland, I sort of expected Scotland to be the same thing recreated all over again. Kept on missing the people and events in Ireland the whole time. I guess one shouldn’t compare or have expectations. You might be sorely disappointed. I was.

Scotland has it’s own struggles, battles and histories. In fact, I learnt more history in Scotland than in Ireland. However, it doesn’t necessary means a good thing. Most of it is about how Scotland came to be part of the UK and it’s fight for independence. So you can see, it’s not all romantic stories. Just feel quite sad and depressing to learn about all those tragic histories.

This time, the tour only had 9 of us, 10 including the guide, in it. A small group, so we were able to know each other quite well. However, you don’t always get people that you can click or get along with, everytime. There’s 2 China boys, one Australian(who’s totally different from those Aussies I met in Ireland),one American lady in her forties, one Scot, one Czech Republic guy, an Israel girl(who’s very smart and well-travelled), a pretty Switzerland girl and me, the S’porean girl. We’re all from different countries and have different cultures and languages. I think to be able to survive amicably for a week is good enough.

There were some things that happened that made me hide in the toilet and cry my heart out. Maybe I’m too sensitive and interpret words wrongly. Maybe I’m just so set in my thinkings that I think my way is the right way. Maybe I’m just too selfish to see my own faults. Whatever it is, I tried my best. Can’t always please everyone. Can’t always care too much.

Have you ever seen a beautiful sunset and a rainbow at the same time? Have you ever had 5 men strip naked all at once in front of your eyes(albeit a little distance away)? Have you ever seen the Milky Way in the sky? Have you ever seen stars so bright and clear that the constellations could be seen all at once? Have you ever felt the wind so strong on a mountain top that it feels as though you’re really about to be blown away? Have you ever stood while cows/sheep eat grass not heeding your presence besides them? Have you ever seen so much cows/sheep shit in one big field? I had done/seen/experienced all these and more! It really was some of the greatest phenomenal experiences I ever had. The company wasn’t great but I don’t regret doing this tour.

Now, if I can only recover in time to say goodbye to my host family. Can I ever say goodbye without tearing up and breaking my heart?



Sylvia
September 17, 2006 at 9:17 pm

:)

Laixing
September 18, 2006 at 7:20 am

wow really pei fu u going so far for ur pursuits.. dun be sad ya… u still got frens who are all around ok?

Ireland trip

This is going to be a short blog. Don’t intend to blog about my whole trip in Ireland as it’s 6 days long. But I can tell you that I totally enjoy this trip and I love the people on the tour, Ireland, Irish guys and the beers! I’m been on so many tours before by myself and this is the one that I enjoyed the most and feel very happy about throughout the whole trip. I think I mentioned before that I wasn’t very excited to be going on the trips to Ireland and Scotland because of all these emotions I’m going through these recent months. Now, I’m totally psyched up for Scotland because I had such fun in Ireland.

The tour had a total of 22 people, including me. All of them are Australians except for me from S’pore, 2 Americans, 2 from New Zealand, 2 from Canada and one from South Africa. The Australians are such fun people! During the tour, because we’re in Ireland and the Irish are known for their drinking, we go out every night to pubs and drink. I don’t drink every night though. The Aussies are really mental people. They can be so fun and crass and loud and crazy! I really love hanging out with them, not that I had a choice. I had fun listening to the Aussie slangs and accents. They were quick to teach me too.

Our tour guide, Mike, is very fun, not to mention cute too. He cracks corny and dirty jokes throughout the boring and long bus journeys, sings Irish songs and tells us stories and folklore of the Irish. He’s made it interesting for everyone on the bus and sometimes do drink and party with us too. The Irish guys in the pubs always show interests in some of our girls in the group, even though sometimes their Irish accent makes them hard to understand.

The most fun I had was on the last night, when everyone dressed up to go out and have a good time as a form of celebration for the end of the tour.

My roommates made me dress up by lending me their clothes. They even conspire to get me drunk and wasted as they know I’m not a good drinker. I’m glad to say they didn’t succeed, though I did drink more than my usual allowance. Everyone was really crazy that night and I even had a little flirting session with Mike! Haha!

I left Ireland with sad and happy feelings as I learnt so much from the tour. Before going, I didn’t know much of the country. Now, I know that they have so much culture, language(Gaelic), struggles and beliefs.

It really opens up my mind to this beautiful country. I think I won’t be going back to this place again and the people would not be the same anymore. However, I’m glad to have to chance to explore it with such fun people and to see the beauty of the place.

Sylvia

September 17, 2006 at 9:14 pm

glad you had a great time!