When would it be my turn?

Last Tuesday there was a fellowship committee meeting at ZC & Z’s house. During the meeting, we always get distracted by our topics and got to talk about our life in general or some sharing. Z was talking about her newborn baby and the difficulties and helplessness of her in caring for the baby. She was saying that she doesn’t even dare to go for spa massage because she’s afraid that she might be dripping milk from her breasts. Haha! She also shared on her difficult first month with the baby, especially at night, to the point that her mum was worried that she might get post-natal depression.

As I was listening to Z talk about her difficulties, along with sympathies and concern for her, I also felt a very distinct feeling of envy. Now, although I have vast experience with babies and children, it is different from child-birth. Having never experienced it, I can never understand the pains and problems that comes from the whole issue, from pregnancy to labour. Z was saying that other mothers in the fellowship has been giving her advice along the way which she’s very grateful and thankful for. I can’t give any advice because I’ve not experienced it. The advice I sometimes give to others are all that I read or heard from others. Even the advice I give on how to discipline and educate children or to handle children are sometimes not being listened to seriously because people think that I do not have my own children and therefore not competent enough to dole out advices.

Recently there’s a lot of talks and seminars from private organizations on childcare, how to handle or communicate with your children or education, things like that. In most of these seminars, they always invite celebrity parents to give talks on their child-rearing ways. I really don’t understand about that. Just because they are celebrities, just because they become parents now, suddenly they become very good with children or they become good parents. What bulls**t is that? Just because a person becomes a parent does not mean that the person is a walking encyclopedia on all things to do with children. If that’s true, why are there still bad parents around? Why are there still cases of child abuse?

Anyway, back to the first topic. Yes, as I was listening to Z talk about her dealings with her son, I keep thinking that at least she has these problems to deal with. I wish to have these problems but I don’t even have the chance. I was also thinking whether I would ever have the chance to experience the same difficulties, the same emotions, as Z. This brings me back to when I was 10. Young girls at 10 will always have a talk in school by the nurses on their upcoming changes in their body, i.e period or menstruation. I was so hyped up by the nurses and very fascinated by the use and function of the sanitary pads that I still remember I told my mum that I can’t wait for my periods to arrive so I can use those pads. My mum said that I was crazy. I was indeed crazy! Oh, the menstrual pains and troublesome changing of pads! Well, at least I know that my menstrual will come eventually, but will I eventually get to be a wife and a mum? That is something that is only a probability and not an eventuality.

When would it be my turn?