Reality Check

Have been trying to carry out some plans lately. A lot of things went through my mind actually. Realised that things may not be what I always wanted. Also realised that while I can think in some way, others may not think the same.

Last Friday night, I called London to the Lynchs house. Anne, my host mum, has given birth on 26th August. It’s a boy! Just like what I predicted and wanted! Conor Daniel Lynch. Very nice. I’m very happy for them. Really. According to Anne, Kara and Brigid are very excited to have their baby brother. They even brought pictures of their new baby brother to show their teachers and classmates in school. Good for them.

However, during the course of the conversation, I asked for a favour and the answer I got was not what I expected. Totally threw me off. I was not expecting that to be the response I get from the beloved host family, host parents that I knew. Don’t really want to go into details, but the gist of it was that I had my share of fun with them in Fairfield, CT, USA. Now, it’s time for them to be a family, for them to bond together, especially since Conor is their biological child, they hope to spend more time to be with the girls and that I should leave them be. So, all along, the phrase, ‘like family…’ the key word is ‘like’. I’m not family, just like family.

Was feeling very hurtful, sad and depressed for the whole of the weekend. Cried every night thinking of what Anne said. She was honest, I give her that, but ti’s just too brutally honest. Sensitive me, from Asia, could not accept it. Now, with Anne’s words, came a reality check for me also. I reconsidered my decision to carry out a crazy plan and have come to a final decision. So, I feel better now. Calmer. I know what to do next and can at least make solid plans. Just think that this time, God wants me to stay, so I’m going to stay.

Still a lot of things going on these few days. I’m so over-whelmed by events. Going to take it slowly and digest things over. I hope everything works out in the end and I won’t get into a tight corner by my rash decision. Pray for me. Walk with me.