Last 2 weeks...

Has been a whirlwind of activities. On April 8 & 9, went to Philadelphia for a weekend vacation with Bere and Wendy. It has been fun. Had not been on a real vacation for some time. Real as in staying in hotel, eating outside food, etc. I enjoyed the time spent with Wendy and Bere. Life and work has been quite busy lately, so has not been able to talk and spend much time with friends. Even when I have the time, they may not have the time, so I treasure this time to have their undivided attention and just talk, eat and enjoy.

Cam back late on Sunday night and the next day, Monday, when I woke up, realised that I’m sick. Still have to work, and as the day goes by, got sicker. Had a fever of 101.2 degrees F (~38.3 degrees C). When Dan(my host dad) got home at 6.15pm, I went straight to bed. The next few days were just laying in bed and sleeping or just lying down. Really feel very giddy and tired. Can’t even eat. Whatever I eat, I just threw them up. Even the thought of food turns me off, which shows how sick, I am, being a person who loves food. Anyway, finally feel much better on Thursday when we have to go to Cincinnati, Ohio for Easter. Then, realised that I have a toothache! What a bother! Just when I feel better enough to eat and gain back my strength, I can’t chew cos of the toothache!

I have to endure the toothache pain for the past few days till we come back from Ohio. Although I can go to any dentist, I feel that it’s better to go to one close to home here in Connecticut as it may make the insurance filing easier. Don’t even know if this toothache will be covered under my insurance plan. Here, going to a doctor is soooo expensive. A general outpatient is a minimum 100 dollars plus. Having insurance is very, very important in the USA. That’s why there’s so many over-the-counter medicine available. Unless you’re very, very sick, just buying something from the pharmacy to cure the sickness is the most common form of dealing with a sickness.

I still have to book an appointment for the dentist. Actually the pain is getting better. Thinking of not going at all. But then, if I don’t look after it now, what if it comes back again? Then maybe it will get worse. What to do…I don’t even know which dentist is good around here. One really has to be in good health. It sucks to be sick!

10 things I want in a husband

1) Someone who loves God and puts God above all things. (Can’t go wrong with someone who loves God.)

2) Someone who loves me. (If there’s no love, then what are we talking about??)

3) Someone who loves children and would like to have some of his own. (Everyone knows I love children!)

4) Someone who’s affectionate and is generous with hugs and kisses. (I’m a very touchy feely person)

5) Someone who’s not afraid to use terms of endearment, in private, as well as in public. (It shows how much he loves me, right?)

6) Someone who’s willing to tolerate my quirks and strange habits. (I am a sort of cleanliness freak and can’t even stand myself sometimes but I can’t help it!)

7) Someone who loves to travel for the cultural exchange and learning experiences. (I love to travel and don’t mind if every time I travel backpacking style.)

8) Someone who earns a decent income. (Hey, not being materialistic here, just being practical. I hope to be able to stay home to look after the kids.)

9) Someone who’s not afraid to laugh at himself, at life and the small things in life. (I count my blessings constantly and find myself to be very rich in them!)

10) Someone who’s willing to hold my hands and show me the same kind of affection in private and in public when we’re old, full of wrinkles and grey hair. ( This is just in case I marry an Asian guy. Asians are too conservative and shy. If I marry a Caucasian, they should have no problem with this! Ha!)

Being a 'mum'

This week, I had a taste of really being a mum to the girls. Anne(my host mum) had to go to London for her work and I had to work extra hours to take care of the girls. Dan(my host dad) always leave the house at 6am to take the train to work. Most of the time, the girls would still be sleeping, so we instructed them to go to my room when they wake up and can’t find daddy/mummy. Brigid wakes up soooo early. It has been a constant 6.10am every morning. I feel sooo tired! Kara is also constant in waking up at 7am. Yesterday, Dan had a dinner engagement for his work, which means that I got to spend an entire day with the girls, from when they wake up to when I put them down to sleep. It’s not too bad actually, since they’re in school for most of the day. It’s a good thing they’re good girls, so it wasn’t much trouble for me. I have to say that I really enjoyed it. Haha! I guess I can be a good mum after all. Fixing them breakfast, lunch, dinner is nothing for me now. I gave them their bath, read books to them, and put them to bed. If there’s somebody to pay the bills, I can be a good stay-at-home mum! Now I appreciate the merits of having nice and good children. I guess it all depends on how you teach them. Although I complain that the girls are naughty, I know that they’re much well-behaved than most of other children, especially since they’re American children. You can’t really expect children to be angels all the time. Then there would be something wrong! The American culture is to teach them to be vocal and independent. Sometimes, these children can be sooo vocal to the point of being rude. I’m glad Dan and Anne are good parents in that they do not over-spoil the girls. They try not to discipline the girls when they’re with them since they don’t spend much time with them. It’s only when it’s really necessary then they will do that. Sometimes that can be bad, but I can understand the desire to just spend quality, happy times with the girls.

Hmm…actually everything that I do this week is really easy for me. I think I’m too used to the girls and the workings of this family. Sometimes I take comfort in the fact that I have the girls who love me, but in the end, they still don’t belong to me! They are still close to mummy and daddy. When they cry, they ask for mummy, so where do I stand? No matter how much they love me, they still have their parents. When would I have such unconditional love from my child(ren)? The joys of being a parent is so great! Of course, I’m not the one to pay the bills, so I won’t know the tough job of raising them..

A lot of the other au pairs have said that after being an au pair for a year here, they have made up their minds not to have any children of their own. Me, I’ve been with them for a year plus and my desire for children of my own have grown. In the beginning, I do feel that it’s tough to be the parents. You have to be ‘on call’ 24/7. This week, I have to do the same and I feel that it’s not as bad as I thought. You just have to make priorities and adjustments. When you give unconditionally and treat the children like your own, you will get back the same unconditional love back from them. That’s when you feel the satisfaction. I know that most of the other au pairs see taking care of the children as a job. They do love their children, but it’s still a job to them. For me, I really enjoy the process of just being with them. I do have bad days and is sometimes(or maybe a lot of times) impatient with them but I guess when you’re a mum, you get to have one of those days too.

Sigh…when will I have my own family??