I am who I am

I read a book recently. It's a fiction book but written very well, in such a way that there's some sort of meaning in there. If you do not want to dwell on it too much, it's fine but me being me, I always reflect on what I read and imagine if I were the characters, what I would do.

In the book, there's 3 women who had met with some traumatic events in their life within the past year. They met a psychiatrist who brought them to live in another place. These 3 women, who are strangers to each other, found comfort in talking to each other their problems and at the same time found magic in this strange town. They were given a chance to go back into a time in their lives that they would like to do something, mainly the traumatic event, so that their lives would be changed for the rest of their lives.

After reading this book, I've been thinking that if I had a chance to go back into a time in my life to change something or do something differently, so that my life would not be what it is now, which point would that be? I really had been thinking hard about it. In various stages of my life, I chose and then changed my mind. Actually, my first twelve years of my life all happened in a blur. I can't really remember much of it, except in snatches of it here and there. Only when I got to secondary school, do I feel that I've started my life.

I did think of going back to secondary school but it was the happiest years of my life (happy and unhappy events) and I do not want to change anything then. I thought of going back to my JC days, maybe study harder for my 'A' levels so I could go to a local University and thus my whole life from then on would change. However, it's because of getting into my University that I met YY, and she brought me to my current church, so I do not want to change that. The thing I do not want to change the most was my 2 years spent in USA. Those are some of the best days of my life and I really, really treasure them. There may have been times that I wish I could do things differently while there, but they're not so importantly that they're life-altering, so do not warrant me going back to change them.

After thinking about it, I decided that all the decisions that I made in my life, brings me back to who I am now. Whether they are good or bad, right or wrong, they are made by me at that point when I thought it was the best decision. So, I've decided that given the chance to change something in my life, I would choose not to do anything. Yes, I may not have any accomplishments or achievements in life now but I chose it. The people that I met in various stages of my life are also based on the decisions I made at various points. So, I think I should be happy and stop procrastinating!