The past…is past…

I was looking through my gmail, where I kept all my past emails from during the time I went to the States until now. Yes, I keep all the emails that all important to me. In fact, all the replies that were sent to me when I sent out my updates of my life, I kept in the gmail account. It is so big that I still have not even reached 20% of the storage space.

So, anyway, I was looking through the emails. At the same time I was reading the mails that I sent out updating about my life in USA and everything that I did there. Really brings back lots of memories and as I was reading, the images came flooding into my head. The house, the girls, the Lynches, the neighbourhood, the neighbours, my au pair friends and many, many more. I could even trace back to when I went to a city for travel and what I did in certain months! I was such a regular writer! Ha!

I also went through the replies that were sent to me by my friends. It was real heart-warming, touching and sad at the same time. Heart-warming because I’m reminded of the encouragements and positive words through the emails that some friends sent to me when I was abroad. Touching because I’m reminded of the things that some friends offered to help me when I was in a foreign land. Some offered to send me things from home, some opened up their places for me to visit while I was there, etc. Sad because in a lot of ways, many things had changed since then and I don’t even hear or see from those same friends who offered me the support that I needed back when I wanted them to.

It seems that I was closer to my friends when I was not physically there with them. Such is the nature of humans. We only cherish when something is not around. In the emails, there are many lines of, ‘I miss you’, ‘I wish you were here’, etc. Also, many of my dear friends are more willing to bare their thoughts to me through emails. It seems that we’re very shy when it comes to talking face-to-face. Never in a million years would we be so frank and update with as much details as when we are not talking in person. D and YY used to email me with some sort of regularity when I was in USA. Now that I’m back, I don’t even see them anymore. I do care about them as they were an important part of my growing up years into an adult. D even mentioned in one of the earlier emails that he missed the days when we had Friday nights suppers, talking and sharing. I do miss those days too but now that I’m actually back, everyone has moved on to another point in their life and no one seems to be willing to stop and think or listen.

Well, just getting a little nostalgic. I’m always doing this sort of things. I used to always take my primary and secondary school autograph books out and just think about my friends. I also often look through photo albums to remember better and happier times. I’m just someone who just can’t stay out of trouble. Like the title, the past, is past…



Dennis
October 1, 2008 at 10:45 am

Well, just to let you know that i do still keep a point to visit your blog and hear your thoughts once in a while. It’s been a while since we folks and the rest last met. I bumped into YY the other day and chatted alittle. Its true that things are different now as we all going thru different paths of our lives. And somehow, and strangely, i kind of know u more of a person , through your writing, rather than in person. Well that’s beside the point.

Anyway just dropping by to say hi and to show that i am still breathing and strong, haha. Hope the same goes for you.

Dennis