Finally back in Singapore!!

Finally, after an absence of 2 years, I’m back home in S’pore. I don’t know. Maybe I’ve changed after all. Seems like everything looks and feel different to me. Even seeing my own room feels so strange to me. Of course I’m happy to be home, to see my friends and eat the food that I grew up with. Just that many things have changed in my absence and I have to get used to the changes.

When I was travelling, I was hating the feeling of living out of a suitcase/backpack. Now that I’m home, I think I’m so used to living on the go that I’m feeling funny to be having permanent place for my things. I miss the friends I’ve made on my journeys too. Talking about my things, I have sooooo many things to pack and unpack!! I’ve accumulated so many things from my 2 years abroad and I have to sent back 3 boxes of things in addition to the 2 big suitcases that I have to lug back. Now, I have to unpack and clear things from my small room so I can fit the new things in. It’s a tedious and tiring process. Wish I have more room for everything.

When I came home, I was wondering what I came back for. My home is not exactly the place to come home to, with all the problems present. The first half hour of coming home, I wish to run away again. It is the love and friendship from friends and brothers and sisters in church that kept me here in S’pore. I don’t really know what I want or what to do now.Well, can only take things one step at a time. Hopefully I can get adjusted and settle down soon. Though I wish to leave, I want to stay on here too. Oh, the irony!!

Unforgettable

It was the craziest thing I ever did. It was when I deserted logic and followed my instincts and heart. It was one of the best things that ever happened. It was fun. It was exciting. It was interesting. It was a wonderful and unique experience. Although it goes against all that I’ve believed in and stand for, I still went for it. Made my choice, stand by it. No regrets.

Sensitive, independent, strong, intelligent, talented, funny and special are just some qualities I discovered. I will learn not to be dependent on it, as I know I won’t be depended upon. Never had something like this happened before, don’t think will happen again. Have fun and be happy. Don’t ask for more. That’s the rules of the game. I don’t know how to play the game and broke the rules. A good thing that the one that gets hurt is only me.

Yes, I will be missed. Yes, I will be remembered….until the next one comes along, perhaps permanently. I’m one of many stories, while it’s the one and only story to me. No, I won’t fight for it. It will only be futile efforts on my part. Different countries, different cultures, different interests, different goals, different languages. I wish for once, someone would do the fighting, or at least, do it with me. I’m too tired to always do it alone.

Yes, I will move on….eventually. But now, just for now, allow me to drown, in the sweet memories, that may never come again.



Sylvia
October 9, 2006 at 6:13 am

*hugs..
totally understand.. now you understand my pains too..

Blogging from Mexico

So, I’m currently in Mexico now. Feeling great! Things are so much cheaper than in England. I think I’m getting fat from eating the local food everyday. Actually not think, I AM getting fat from eating so much. Initially had a big culture shock when I came. Bere’s house is just so different from what I’m used to. Call me spoilt. Anyway, she tried her best and everyone is very nice to me, in fact generous and kind, so I cannot be ungrateful and complain so much.

Right now I’m travelling central Mexico(or South?) with Bere. Went to San Luis Potosi and in Guanajuato now. Tomorrow going to San Miguel. After that, a few more cities that I’ve not learnt to pronounce their names yet. Will update more if I get free internet access again at the hostels I’m staying at. I have major headache trying to listen to Spanish and understand them. Bere is just babbling off all those Spanish names of places and things and people and they just go over my head as I can’t understand and don’t bother to remember them. Haha! Spanish is just not the language that I’m interested to learn. However, for the sake of communication, I’m forced to learn few words here and there. Talking with Bere’s mum is with sign languages and her speaking Spanish while I try to use my ’smart’ brain to decipher what she’s trying to say. Good thing I’m actually pretty smart! That’s what Bere’s mum said anyway.

The Mexicans I meet don’t get to meet people who speak English often. I’m always the butt of their jokes for my broken Spanish. They’re always curious to find out how I like their cities/country/culture/food. I always have to answer the question of where exactly Singapore is. So far, the most hilarious one I got was that capital of Singapore is Bangkok! Haha!

Anyway, I’m too lazy to write all the experiences. Maybe in the next blog. I’m loving it here in Guanajuato. Meeting new people is always fun but I’m tired of being asked the same questions again and again. I know, I know, I have to talk more. Being too quiet is the reason I lose friends and why friends don’t like to hang out with me. What to do, that’s me. I wish everyone reads my blog so I can just blog down my feelings and experiences without having to actually vocalise them. Haha! Till next time…..



Sylvia
October 5, 2006 at 4:29 pm

you hv a sweet voice.. speak up!!!blog’s artificial sometimes, and i’m sure you’ll agree..can’t wait for you to be back hun!!and i’d love to learn spanish!