My CNY weekend

I had a very quiet Chinese New Year. This is the 2nd time in my whole life that I don’t have ‘ba kua’ to eat, no ‘ang pows’ to receive and no friends and family by my side during this very important and noisy period. I called home several times during these few days just to say my wishes to my mum and my relatives in the house and to see what’s going on back home. Didn’t realise that I will miss cny so much. Last year was not so bad.

On Sat, I went in to NYC to try to spend some time with my S’porean friends and wishing we can have our own celebration here so far from home. However, things are not what I expected. Everyone is busy and has their own things and programs. Didn’t get to eat the expected Chinese dinner I wanted. I only got to see Sylvia that day. She had some relationship problems and I had to spend the whole day with her. Well, it was good too. I had wanted to see her new apartment and I got to do that! So, it wasn’t too bad. I was actually tired too, so not doing anything much is good for my lazy bones too. Haha! Sometimes just spending time with a good friend is nice too. I haven’t done that in a long time. Just talking and even being quiet is acceptable too as we know each other well that words are unnecessary.

On the way home from NYC, I called church friends in the train. They passed the phone from one person to another and I got to talk and wish each one individually. It was a nice feeling. Last year when I did that, I felt so lonely after I hang up the phone. I can hear through the phone that it’s so noisy and happy mood over there while I’m preparing to go to bed here! This time, every one will ask me when I’m going to be back and I can say with confidence that I’ll be back in Oct! Really looking forward to going back and spending time with them. They are the ones who keep me level-headed and makes me feel so loved and happy. Not that my other friends don’t do that, just that I spend more time with them, so they know more about me.

On Sunday, I went to church and nobody there Even knows that it’s Chinese New Year that day. I came home and had to work a little with the girls and Dan had to attend a funeral. They gave ‘ang pows’ to the girls and me that night. To them, an ‘ang pow’ is a symbolism of blessing, so the money inside are just a token sum, so they only give USD2 inside. For me, instead of giving me money this year, they gave me a phonecard inside the ‘ang pow’, for me to call my friends and home. Haha…Was touched by that. The phonecard has a value of USD40. Really very nice of them.

When I listen to 933 on the net, they still play cny songs. They’re still having holidays and cny mood back in S’pore, but here, everything is back to normal now. I’m really looking forward to going home in Oct. Spending Christmas, CNY, birthday, every holidays with my friends and family…

Cooking...

Yesterday I received a package from Jason and Shelen. I was so happy to see my ‘big’ name on the package. Everyday, when I go take in the mails, I always look through them, hoping to see anything with my name on it. Even the month bank statement from the bank make me happy sometimes. Haha…Crazy.. I guess I’m hoping to see something that shows that I’m being remembered by my friends or family. Sadly, it’s few and far in between. Anyway, Jason and Shelen sent me a card, and ingredients for making ‘zui kuay’. When they came over from Texas the week before Christmas, we talked about our cooking experiences here and they knew that I like ‘zui kuay’, so they sent it to me. Really very touched by their gesture. They sent me some package spices to make chicken rice and curry chicken. I really am very happy! Finally authentic food of Singapore!

Today, I tried to make the ‘zui kuay’. Anja, my au pair friend from Germany came for a playdate and I let her try it. I don’t think she likes it. She was polite and just said that the taste is strange to her, so she really can’t say whether it’s good or not. Hahaha…I know it’s strange. The ‘cai po’ that Jason and Shelen sent and bought from Texas tastes different from what we had in S’pore. I guess can’t ask for too much. The ‘zui kuay’ itself is good though. Maybe next time I try to eat it with soy sauce or chilli sauce. I still will eat with ‘cai po’, but maybe not put too much.

During my stint year in USA, I really cooked more than I did during my whole life time in S’pore. What to do. You want to eat something, you have to cook it. Since I’m in Connecticut, there’s not many Asians here. The Chinese restaurants are mostly Hong Kong taste. They’re also Americanised, after a few tries initially, I stopped eating them because the menu is mostly the same - those that the Americans like, like sweet and sour chicken/pork, Sesame chicken/pork, broccoli, etc. Every restaurants have the same dishes with not much variety. Now, I learn to cook stir-fry bean sprout with carrots, red bell pepper, broccoli and luncheon meat, onion omelette, fried rice, and now ‘zui kuay’!

Actually I lost weight initially when I came here, but now I gained back the weight!! boo hoo…I just love eating so much. My host mum just this week went on the South Beach Diet. I wanted to follow also, but Chinese New Year is coming, I hope to at least eat a little more before I go on the diet. When on the diet, the first 2 weeks is for cleansing, so you can’t eat a lot of things, like rice, pasta, white bread, corn, carrots, potatoes, anything with sugars(including fruits), etc. After the 2 weeks, you can introduce some things back into the diet but things like rice and pasta are really no-nos as they’re too rich in carbs. These are the so-called ‘bad’ carbs. The main motto of the diet is not to eat less and exercise. It’s to differentiate between ‘good’ and ‘bad’ carbs and follow the diet for the rest of your life to keep your weight. Of course, after you reached your desired weight, if you want to indulge occasionally, you can do it. It’s really up to you how you want to live your life.

Frankly, to me, if having to live your life being so restricted, it’s just such a waste of time. I rather eat whatever and then just exercise to keep them off. Well, of course, when you exercise, you can not keep up with the calories that you eat, but I try my best. Just hope to not be too fat when I get back home. S’pore is full of thin girls. Really very stress for me. Here, I’m considered petite. Gives me a false sense of confidence. Everyone says I’m ok and I know that I’m within the healthy range of my BMI. But in s’pore, all those bean-pole thin girls makes me feel so fat!! Of course, I’m not making too much effort also. If a guy only looks at my surface, then he’s not worth it.

Life is a constant struggle…

Volunteering

I just went volunteering with the Bridgeport Rescue Mission. It’s basically just following a group of volunteer workers out on their van and go to a poorer part of the city to give out food to anyone who’s hungry. We gave out 58 dinners in just like 10-15 mins. Can you imagine the number of hungry folks out there? This is especially so because it’s now the end of the month. Most people would have spent all their social security benefits or salary and have no more money for food either for themselves or for their children.

Although the part of the city that I went to is a poorer part, the people there are not really that poor. Not in such a state that I would call destitute. However, when I see an abled bodies man or old man just standing in line to get free food, I would ask myself what sort of circumstances would force a man to put down his self-esteem and line up for free food? These people(mostly African Americans) have warm clothes to last them for the cold winter. At least they’re not like being frozen to death(the mission give away jackets, coats and socks too for anyone who wants/needs it). I’m reminded that I live in the richest state of America and frankly, there’s poor people here too, but I see worse situations out West than here in the East. Even just in NYC, the people there are much worse than here. During the cold spell 2 weeks ago, 2 homeless man have died from the cold.
I don’t think I’m doing much just to go out once a week to feed these people. But I have to remind myself that no matter how small my contribution is, it comes from the bottom of my heart and I really sincerely want to do something for the less fortunate than me.

The other time I went to volunteer with Habitat For Humanity, where they help to build houses and offer low house loans to the poor. I really can’t do much as building houses is really not what I’m into. I know nuts about it. Really felt helpless then when I was helping. Those present can’t teach me much as they have to try to meet deadlines in handing over the houses to the people. But I salute these people who give up part of their time on a regular basis every week or even everyday to help whenever they can.

Actually, another of my ambition or fantasy is to be a full time volunteer in developing countries, just helping those who have lesser than me. But I still have parents who needs me. I have responsibilities to fulfill. And, I think, deep down in my heart, I still long for a family of my own and to settle down. Hmm…I think the first fantasy is easier to fulfill…Haha!