I miss...

my two girls. Recently keep thinking of my 2 darlings, Kara and Brigid. Sometimes I think I dreamt of them, although not too sure about it when I woke up. I miss seeing Brigid hugging her baby, sucking her two fingers. And Kara with her ‘I love you’s and her hugs. Everyday I wish to call London and talk to them. However, they’re not really good talkers on the phone. Also, being on the phone with them, I’m able to hear and feel their lives over in London. Makes me want to be over there with them instead. Always after talking to them, I feel even sadder. So I have to control myself to not call them.

Anne sent me pictures of the girls during their recent vacation to Dubai. They have grown so much in the space of 6 months! Yap, it’s been 6 months since I last saw them in person. Kara has grown very tall. It’s makes me sad that they’re still so happy and able to grow so well even without me. Of course, I’m not wishing for otherwise. I guess with their young age, it’s easy to forget. This is something that I’ve known ever since I’ve learnt to love them back in USA.

I really miss the girls, the Lynchs, my friends and my life back in USA so much. Till now, I still can’t bear to look at pictures of the girls from the many albums I brought back. Even though physically I’ve moved on, what with new job and new schedule, emotionally I’m still not ready to move on.

How I do miss the girls….!!!

Trip to Bangkok

Finally able to blog after so long. Well, I still don’t have my own computer. But I have a job now!! Yeah! Congrat me! Not going to talk about my job cos that’s not what this blog is about. Want to know? Ask me lah! Hehe…

Well, from the title, this blog is about my trip to Bangkok last weekend(9-11 Mar). Though it’s just a short trip, it’s been a very, very long time since I went travelling with good friends, and I mean really good friends. Not once during the trip did I feel frustrated or angry or lonely. It’s been a trip that I thoroughly enjoy although it’s very tiring. During my travels in US and UK for the past 2 years, I have been forced by circumstances to travel with either strangers or try to get along with people I don’t really know very well of, that I call friends. While some of the experiences have been good, most of the time, I just feel so lonely. Being with people who don’t really understand you and know what you like or don’t like, it’s just a lot of give-and-take during the travels, which can be exhausting.

During this trip to Bangkok, I’m able to completely relax and let the guys(Dennis and Zhenchuan) plan our itinerary as they’ve been there not long ago and know where to go and where to eat. It’s a very nice feeling also, knowing that they’re my friends and if anything happens, they will try to protect me(as well as the other 2 girls, of course). During my travels alone, it’s everyone for themselves and you have to look out for yourself. If you run out of money, too bad! But during this Bangkok trip, we even borrowed and lent money among ourselves! (Talking about that, I just remembered that I still owe Zhenchuan money for the hotel and air-tickets. Oh well…)

Proud of myself

After one week of clearing and packing, I finally cleared away my 3 boxes and 2 big suitcases of stuff. Very embarrassed to say that most of these things are mine! I didn’t buy/bring anything back for my friends or family. I did buy a traditional Mexican shirt for my mum but other than that, nothing! One thing, to buy for one, I have to buy for everyone, which will cause me to spend a lot of money. Second thing, my luggages were already overweight and I narrowly missed having to pay for excess baggage, so buying more things were out of the question. I’m sure those who’re really my friends will just be happy to see me back safe and sound than to see my presents.

Oh, back to my room. I’m just so proud of myself. Managed to harden my heart and throw away lots of stuff that I kept for very long time. I really mean a very long time. Some of them goes back to my eldest brother’s primary school days, which is like 20 over years ago! Haha! I don’t even know how they ended up in my room in the first place. I actually had great fun cleaning up my room, to tell the truth. Was looking through all those school books, letters and diary entries. Makes me reminisce about days past and brought back lots of memories. Realised how much I’ve changed or in some ways, how little.

Being a sentimental person, I’ve kept every piece of letter and card that’s given to me by friends. This goes back to my primary school days. Really very funny to be reading about those things that seems important to me then but so silly now. I wrote diary on and off during these years and it makes me silly to be reading them too. Seems like when I was young, I can be very easily satisfied and easily sad too. Maybe this character of mine has not changed, just that I know better to conceal my feelings now.

Well, now that my unpacking is finished, that gives me no excuses to ‘lobo’ at home. Have to start looking for a job soon. My mum has been nagging me non-stop. Have actually wanted to rest till January but I think can’t wait till so long. I have to buy a new computer, set up an internet account and there’s many things that needed to be replaced in the house. Everything needs money. Sigh…I don’t even know what job I’m going to look for…