Depressed

Have not been writing ever since the new year started. The usual reason. Nothing exciting to blog about. When there was actually something to write about, I would not have access or the chance to write down. So when the time has past, I would lose my passion to write.

I got a wireless usb modem from M1 so I can use internet at home. Good news? No! Everytime I go online, it’s like trying to win the lottery. The connection sucks! Anyway, at least I got to talk to Kara, Brigid and Anne online using Skype last night. Was able to see the girls and Conor too. That was my highlight of the month! Was really very happy to see them and connect with them, even though I had to stay up till 1.30am to talk to them and only got like 6 hours plus sleep because I have to get up early today for church. Kara is able to read and write on her own now and yesterday she typed "I miss you" to me! She did that on her own and I was so touched.

Anyway, why the headline ‘Depressed’? I’m also not sure. Just that maybe I’m a little ‘lost’, like what my friend puts it. I don’t know what I’m doing everyday, what I’m working for and what I’m hoping for. Everyday I go through the motions expected of me - wake up, go to work, talk to people, try to deal with clients, try my best in doing my work, come home, watch tv, sleep, next day do the same things again. I’m not passionate about my work at all. Just doing it for the money. If I change and get out of this job, I also don’t know what I would like to do. Just feel very empty. So much so that I have lost a lot of feelings for things. I’m not sure how to put it into words too. I’m just…depressed, and filled with dread at another work week ahead.