I am alive!

Last Friday night, I was having a very bad day at work. Was not feeling quite well also physically. When I was on the way to church choir on the bus, I had a sudden urge to cry. This is my way of letting off stress.

During my stay in USA, I often make myself cry to let off steam. This is especially when I had a bad day, bad week or bad night. Having been unattached for more than 3 years and being alone in a foreign land does that to you. Sometimes I feel that my heart is not feeling anything. When I cry, I think of very sad things to force the tears out. This way, I will at least feel that I’m alive and living. Sad way of living, isn’t it?

This is what happened last Friday. Just was feeling very bottled up and I didn’t talk for most of the day, so I just wanted to feel better by crying. Nowadays, when I want to cry, I think of Kara and Brigid. I think of the days past of being in Connecticut and the good days I had there. That usually sets me off.

At least now, I’m feeling better. As usual for me on a Monday, I’m tired! Don’t know why I just can’t sleep well on Sunday nights. To make matters worst, I’m coming down with a cold. Feeling terrible. Sore throat, blocked and runny nose. Hope I will have a good sleep tonight and feel better tomorrow.