Pressure or responsibilities?

I watched a show recently and one of the characters in the show reflects a lot of my feelings and personality. Can really feel myself being the same person in the show and I can understand the issue being discussed.

Ever since I came back from USA, I’ve been thinking a lot about going away again. I think the freedom and lack of responsibilities for the 2 years abroad has been ingrained so much in me that I feel that it’s so pressurised to be back here in Singapore. I hate living at home, where my mum seems to be breathing down my neck at everything I do - what time I sleep, what time I get up, when I do housework, when I eat, what I eat, where I go. Yes, they may be ways of her showing her concern but since we’ve not been really that close growing up, I think it’s pretty late now to be showing close concern and expect me to be appreciative of it and reciprocate. I’m quiet, period. Accept it. There’re even things that I don’t admit and tell to myself, much less to another person.

In the television show, that’s a clear issue. The reason for going away, is it because of pressure of to run away from responsibilities? 是感到压力，还是逃避责任？I’ve been thinking about it myself too. I have to finally admit that the latter is the more appropriate reason why I want and feel so much for going away. Can say that I want to run from the many responsibilities I have to shoulder.

Admittedly, the 2 years abroad has brought much freedom, joy, fun and experiences, but that’s lots of loneliness, boredom, sadness and homesickness too. It’s just that the happier reasons outweighs the sad ones.

If only I can get over the selfishness in me. Then perhaps I can truly feel happy to be back home, with friends and family.